Personal Victory

“Embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing” – Kahlil Gilbran

As this year comes to a close (can you believe we’re almost in 2010?), I feel it’s important to look back and reflect on what we all accomplished this year.  You see, part of growing as a martial artist is patting yourself on the back for the things you achieved, the goals you hit and all the milestones you crossed…but not just the big ones!

Celebrate Your Small Victories

I know much of the time we focus on lofty goals here: making black belt, becoming a certified instructor, learning all nine forms of the Songahm star…and so on.  And that’s good.  But did you know it’s equally important to focus on the small things you’ve achieved?  It’s true because to sustain yourself over the long haul, you need to motivate yourself along the way.  So celebrate all your milestones.  Also, small goals add up to big goals.  To use a football metaphor, “when you focus on first downs, the touchdowns take care of themselves”.   Make sense?  This all means you don’t have to focus only on the earth-shattering goals and targets.  Look back at all the little accomplishments you achieved this year, too.  They may not seem like much to other people – but they’re huge to YOU.   Let me tell you a quick (and true) story to illustrate what I’m talking about:

John’s Story and His Personal Triumph

About two years ago, John enrolled at Karate for Kids academy in another state.  When he started classes, he was like most students:  excited, ready to get going and pumped to achieve some big things.   And John had most of the attributes other students have when they begin martial arts: ambition, desire to learn, willingness to work hard and he was in decent (but not great) shape.  But John also lacked something others didn’t:  sight.  You see, John is blind.  While that would stop most other people – it didn’t stop John.  Of course, he had doubts: “How do I target effectively?” and “How can I avoid bumping into others on the floor” and “Won’t it be hard to keep my balance when I’m doing a kicks?”  But while John had those thoughts – he plowed ahead anyway.  He embraced his “limitation”.  He chose to look at martial arts as a mountain to be climbed, a test of his character, a personal journey and a way to break through to become a better person.  And most important of all, he never made excuses.

No Excuses

To make a long story short, John is now a brown belt and loving every minute of Taekwondo.  No, it hasn’t always been smooth sailing for him (it’s not for anybody – we all have to confront our own personal demons when we move up through the ranks.).  But every day John is getting closer to his goal of black belt and has learned some valuable self-defense techniques along the way.  Given his situation, I’m sure you’d agree: they’re critical.

What is the secret of John’s success?  How does he accomplish so much when so many other people with fewer challenges give up and quit?  The answer is simple: he focuses on the NOW.  He focuses on the day-to-day actions and celebrates his small victories.  Sometimes we’re so eager to achieve the big goals that we forget to focus on the here and now.  With the world swirling around us, sometimes it’s hard to focus on the present moment.  But John does this every day.  He trains his attention on the side kick he’s doing.  The high block he’s raising.   The form he’s learning.   The small stuff.  And every time he gets something right, he pats himself on the back.  It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you celebrate the small victories along the path to greatness.  And by the way, you did know anybody – regardless of physical ability – can do Karate for Kids, didn’t you?

Achieving a Personal Victory

John’s inspiring story is an excellent example of a personal victory.  Again, a personal victory doesn’t have to be an all-encompassing life-changing event.  Instead, it’s often a very private moment that nobody else notices – or cares about – but YOU.

Here’s another example.  A boy named Connor started Karate for Kids a few months ago at age six.  He had a very tough time in the beginning: He broke down when taking direction; he was extremely sensitive to feedback and criticism; and he routinely cried in class.  But fast-forward six months and he’s a different kid.  His new-found confidence is on display in every class.  When he finds himself getting exasperated, he takes a deep breath and his instructors help him composes himself.  You can see the pride on his face when he walks off the floor and isn’t choking back tears.  While other kids might not think it’s a big deal to make it through a class without crying, to Connor, it’s everything.  It’s HIS personal victory.

Stories like this abound.  Here are some other examples of personal victories:

• Kicking a bad habit (like quitting smoking or putting down the XBOX controller)
• Overcoming a fear (like the fear of sparring or tournaments)
• Pushing yourself past your limits
• Doing something uncomfortable  that you know is good for you (like public speaking)
• Hitting a goal (like completing a big assignment on time)
• Creating a business turnaround (such as getting a business out of the red)
• Creating a life turnaround (like losing weight and increasing your fitness level)
• Getting out of debt and taking control of your financial life
• Raising a grade and doing better in school (for example that grade in math you boosted from a “C” to a “B”).

So as you reflect on what you’ve accomplished this year, make sure you celebrate the small victories and what’s important to YOU.

And let me tell you: I’m proud of each and every one of you.  You’re hitting goals most people never even attempt and you’re molding yourselves into true leaders.

Keep striving to achieve your own personal victory every day!

– Senior Master Babin

Developing Self-Control through Karate for Kids

What’s the bizarre connection between marshmallows and success?  Well, in the late 1960’s, Stanford researcher Walter Mischel led an amazing experiment on self-control.  He put a series of four-year-old kids into a room and sat them in front of a marshmallow.  He said, “When I leave the room, you can ring a bell and have one marshmallow.  But if you can wait 20 minutes, when I come back I’ll give you two marshmallows.”  Then he left the room.

Can you guess what happened?  Out of the 653 kids in the study, fully two-thirds gave in to temptation and ate the one marshmallow.  The other third waited and got two marshmallows.

That’s when Mischel thought to himself, “Is there a link between waiting for the extra marshmallow and success later in life?”  There was only one way to find out.  So he tracked these children for 18 years, followed up with lots of questions and compared the two groups.  Were there any differences between those who resisted temptation and those who didn’t?  Yes.  And what he discovered was shocking.  The kids who resisted temptation and waited for two marshmallows…

• Didn’t get into as much trouble
• Were better students
• Planned ahead more
• Coped better with problems
• Made more friends and were more popular
• Got along with peers better
• Were more self-confident and determined
• Adjusted to new experiences better
• Got into better colleges
• Scored 250 points higher on their SAT’s

In contrast, the kids who gave in to temptation…

• Were more likely to become bullies
• Received worse teacher and parent evaluations
• Got into more trouble at school
• Had more behavior problems (such as controlling their temper)
• Had trouble paying attention
• Had a hard time making and keeping friends
• Had a higher BMI (body weight) later in life
• Were more likely to have drug problems

Can you believe it?  You can  actually predict a child’s success in later life with a simple test that measures self-control.  Why? According to Mischel: “If you can deal with hot emotions, then you can study for the S.A.T. instead of watching television.  And you can save more money for retirement. It’s not just about marshmallows.”

In another famous study on self-control, psychologist Angela Duckworth discovered a link between self-control and grade-point average.   Her study (done on eighth graders) proved that self-control beats intelligence when it comes to grades.  Yes, self-control was a better predictor of academic performance than even I.Q.  The key?  The ability to delay  gratification.  She said that her study shows “intelligence is really important, but it’s still not as important as self-control.”

Do these studies surprise you?  Not me.  I’ve known for a long time that a student’s mastery of self-control is one of the biggest factors in their success…not just at Karate for Kids, but also in everyday life.  That’s because self-control pays off in every area of your life.  With good self-control, you achieve more at work and in your career, have better relationships, enjoy better health and have better finances.  Self-control touches every aspect of your life.

But while the Mischel study proved that kids are born with different degrees of self-control, the good news is that self-control is an attribute that can be learned and developed in ANY student, regardless of age.  It’s a life skill.  That’s why we do everything we can to help develop this skill in our students.  Mischel says. “Once you realize that will power is just a matter of learning how to control your attention and thoughts, you can really begin to increase it.”

But what IS self-control? What goes into it?  Self-control includes…

• Making the right choices
• Overcoming bad habits
• Controlling impulses
• Delaying gratification
• Focusing on the future instead of just the immediate moment
• Resisting temptation
• Keeping your goals in mind

Here are some of the ways we teach students self-control.

Goal-Setting = Incentive

First, we help students set goals and focus on the future.  The various ranks, belts, programs and escalating challenges at Karate for Kids teaches students the value of delaying gratification.  From a very young age, students learn to achieve something over time.

Also, we remind students of the goals they set (becoming a black belt or achieving their next rank) and encourage them to work hard towards that goal.  Want a black belt?  The only way to get there is by exercising self-control and making sacrifices in the present…to create a better future.  Instead of sitting on the couch watching TV or playing video games, you need to get to class, stick to your commitments, and hone your skills.  Goals help students focus on the future, instead of thinking  only “in-the-moment”.   A goal gives them an incentive for self-control.   It helps them make good choices.  According to Dr. Phil McGraw, popular TV psychologist, a child who has a goal “makes better decisions than a kid who doesn’t.  Kids who want to win a scholarship, get a car or go to college reject options other kids don’t reject because they have a reason to reject them”.

Controls Aggression

Second, the traditional martial arts training found in BABINS KARATE FOR KIDS has long been proven to control aggression.  Lots of evidence backs up this point.  It’s what I call the “paradox of martial arts” – kids who engage in Karate for Kids training are simply less violent than kids who don’t because that training provides a healthy outlet for stress, it builds self-confidence, and it nurtures self-esteem.  The most important reason karate students are less violent is because we stress self-control.  For example, in a physical confrontation with an aggressor, we teach students to first defuse the situation and stay calm rather than yield to their emotions and strike out.  This is called a “delay strategy” and it’s an excellent way to develop self-control.  And sadly, with the rash of school violence we’ve seen on the news lately, I believe more kids need to learn this strategy.

Physical Self-Control

Next is physical self-control.  This is accomplished when we simulate combat through sparring, doing self-defense techniques and competing in tournaments.  We like to think of sparring as “playing tag with hands and feet”.  We make it clear the goal is not to harm your opponent.  Instead, you want to score points.  This helps students develop control in the “heat of the moment” – they learn to hold back, restrain their emotional impulses and rein in their aggression.  All of this training equates to a larger gap between stimulus and response.    And speaking of sparring, if you’ve ever seen lower-ranked colored belts spar, you know they can be much rougher than black belts.  Why?  Because black belts have had years of training and have developed greater physical self-control.

Focusing Attention

Third, Karate for Kids teaches students how to focus attention.  As a matter of fact, some parents join our academy mainly because they want help in controlling symptoms of ADD or ADHD for their child.  Babin’s Karate for Kids has proven to do this.  In a 2004 study, Dr. Kenneth Moran proved martial arts training boosts homework completion, academic performance, and classroom participation.  On the other hand, martial arts decreases the number of classroom rules broken, times inappropriately leaving the seat, and “call-outs” in class.  In fact, many parents of ADD / ADHD children consistently say that Karate for Kids is a “Godsend” for them.

Making the Right Choices

Finally – and most importantly – we arm children with the ability to make the right choices.  We teach students how to avoid peer pressure, drinking, smoking and other risky behavior.  Remember: Karate for Kids is NOT just about keeping your child safe physically or in a self-defense situation.  Good judgment is a big part of martial arts because you won’t have to use your self-defense techniques if you learn to avoid risky situations in the first place.

Karate for Kids develops students mentally as well as physically.  But developing self-control doesn’t happen overnight.  Like any life skill, it takes time.  However, I believe when our students possess a strong “core” of self-control, they’ll do a lot better in life.  With all the evidence you’ve seen so far, don’t you agree self-control is a huge success ingredient in life?  Could you think of any greater investment?  Could you think of any greater payoff for martial arts training?  Don’t touch that marshmallow!

—-Senior Master William J Babin

A Lifetime of Healthy Habits 11-08

“Mastering others is strength.  Mastering the self is true power ” – Lao Tzu (Ancient Chinese Philosopher)

You may not realize it, but every day you step into our academy, you’re building healthy lifelong habits.  You’re one of the smart few: You are making physical activity, exercise and positive habits a big part of your life.  Why is this so important?

Our Sedentary Lifestyle

I don’t have to tell you how out of shape most Americans are.  The statistics are

grim: Two out of every three Americans are either overweight or obese.  And over the last thirty years childhood obesity has tripled.  This trend puts Americans at increased risk of heart disease, stroke, diabetes and a whole host of other weight-related disorders.   You hear about this disturbing trend in the news all the time.  Here’s a story I heard recently:

Jim Rome (the sports guy) recently reported the classic “Jungle Cruise” ride at Disneyland was closed for an overhaul.  Why?  Because the boats (designed 40 years ago) were starting to scrape the tracks on the bottom of the river.  Turns out the average weight of riders had exploded in recent years and the boats had to be “adjusted” to handle the extra mass!  The list goes on and on.

But know this: Our academy is working hard to reverse this disturbing trend!   Yes, there is a renewed focus on fitness in the ATA and we’re leading the charge!  Martial Arts training is the best way to develop healthy habits that last an entire lifetime.  Here’s how:

Instills a Habit of Regular  Physical Activity

Studies show that the earlier you develop a habit of regular exercise, the more likely you’ll be to continue that lifestyle into adulthood.  As Dr. Drew Pinsky said in Muscle and Fitness Magazine:  “Patterns are established early in life.  And one thing is clear about exercise: It’s not a hobby, it’s a lifestyle.  In my experience, if people don’t start young with exercise as part of their lives, it’s harder to bring them in later”.  ATA Taekwondo training cements a regimen of regular exercise into a person’s daily routine at an early age and makes it a permanent fixture in his/her life.  This sets students up for success into adolescence and adulthood.

Teaches Goal-Setting

Living a healthy lifestyle requires goal-setting.  Goals give you a way to measure your progress and also help motivate you.  This is another reason martial arts training is so beneficial.  ATA Taekwondo teaches students how to set realistic, measurable goals as well as how to achieve those goals.   In fact, the very belts students wear around their waists signify the goals they’ve already achieved!  Goal-setting is a core element of Martial Arts training and students reap the benefits of this skill for the rest of their lives.

Teaches Discipline

It’s great to have positive goals, but if you can’t muster the discipline to get to class or exercise regularly, what’s the point?  Self-discipline is the engine that drives you to achieve your goals.  ATA Taekwondo teaches discipline and follow-through by holding students accountable and keeping them on track to reach their targets.  Self-disciplined martial artists are able to both set healthy goals as well as achieve those goals.  And like goal-setting skills, self-discipline pays dividends in all areas of a student’s life.

Surrounds You with “Positive Peers”

The Mayo Clinic reports that one of the biggest risk factors for obesity is social isolation.  Joining ATA Taekwondo classes helps you make new friends, contributes to a positive social support group, and forms a network of like-minded peers.

Take a look around our academy.  Just look at all the positive, motivated winners we have here.  Every day you train, you’re surrounded by fit, active people who are all building healthy habits together.  When you surround yourself with healthy, positive people, it rubs off on YOU.  This is one of the “hidden ways” our program builds healthy habits: you make new friends, gain a positive peer group, and get more social support.  And this can add years to your life!

Teaches Good Coping Skills

Everybody needs an outlet for stress.  Unfortunately, some people choose unhealthy ways of coping:  watching TV, overeating, smoking, drinking or gaming excessively.  On the other hand, smart people (like YOU!) develop healthy and positive ways of coping with stress… ATA Taekwondo!  Striking and kicking bags, sparring, perfecting your side-kick in class, practicing forms, and competing in tournaments all help you handle stress in a positive, healthy way.  Letting off steam through martial arts reduces cortisol, bringing your blood pressure down, boosting your metabolism, and taking the edge off your day.

Makes Exercise Fun

Let’s face it: pedaling a stationary bike isn’t fun and doing endless sit-ups doesn’t turn most people on.  But Karate for kids does!  And this is crucial to losing weight and staying in shape for a lifetime:  Most people who have lost weight – and kept it off – say one of the secrets is to find an activity that “doesn’t feel like exercise”. BABIN’S BLACK BELT ACADEMY classes fit that bill perfectly.  They stimulate you mentally as well as physically.  And let me tell you: Time passes a lot faster when you’re sparring than walking on a treadmill!  Through Karate for Kids, you learn that physical activity doesn’t have to be drudgery.

Makes Other Sports Easier

Finally, Karate for Kids training improves so many areas of your overall fitness, it makes it easier for you to engage in other sports and activities.  Consider one area of fitness: coordination, balance, and agility.   BBC Health reported in a landmark study that “clumsy and poorly coordinated children are at higher risk of obesity later in life”. Why?  “Because such children shied away from sports as they got older.” Sure makes sense!!  If you develop balance, coordination, and agility at an early age through Karate for Kids, it enables and encourages you to stay active your whole life!

I want to commend you for bucking the sedentary trend of our times.  You’re one of the few that realize how crucial exercise and regular physical activity are!  Great job – don’t give up and stay on track to reach your goals this month!

—Senior Master Babin

Rock Solid Integrity

“Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching ” – Unknown

In Taekwondo, the pine tree and rock symbolize your path from a small seedling into a mighty giant: a huge pine tree firmly planted in a foundation of solid granite.

But you can take it a step further.  To me, the rock and pine tree also represent the essence of integrity.  The pine tree symbolizes YOU.  As you learn and grow, so does the pine tree.  The rock, on the other hand, symbolizes your foundation.  And in my view, for a life of leadership, the best foundation is one of personal integrity.  And like a building, without a solid foundation you simply can’t rise to great heights or achieve your true potential.     That’s why integrity is such a coveted value in the martial arts.   So let’s take a closer look at integrity and discover how you can forge your own personal integrity and make it work for you.

What Is “Integrity”?

Integrity means firm adherence to a code of values and acting in accordance with your principles.  It also means honesty, keeping your word and speaking the truth.  Like many life skills, integrity is a character trait, something that reveals your true self.  Integrity forms the basis of both trust and respect.  And I think you’d agree: Without other people’s trust and respect, there isn’t much you can accomplish in this world!  No person is an island.  That’s why integrity is so important to your success, both in our academy as well as in the future.

“Matching Tongues”

I heard a funny quote that sums up the idea of integrity: “The tongue in your shoe must match the tongue in your mouth”.  In other words, you must walk the talk.    You see, when your words and deeds match, you have integrity.  But if you say one thing and do another, you’re said to be “out of integrity”.  Here’s an example:

A student says his goal is to become a black belt by the end of next year.  But then he misses classes, doesn’t practice at home and doesn’t work hard during the testing cycle.  In this example, he would be “out of integrity”.  On the other hand, if he attends classes regularly, stays focused on his goal and works hard, he’d have integrity in his actions.  Words and deeds match. Make sense?

One of your goals as an authentic martial artist should be to build your own integrity and use it as a foundation to reach your goals and become a leader.

How to Forge Your Own Lasting Integrity

Like any value to be achieved, building integrity requires consistent effort and discipline.  But the process also requires knowledge.  Here are my six tips for developing your own personal integrity:

1.)  Know Your Values and Identify Your Principles

The first step in developing your integrity is knowing your principles and identifying your values.  What are your goals?  What do you want?  What do you value?  If, for example, you say, “I want to be a black belt in two years”, be prepared to back up that statement.  Attend every class you can.  Participate in tournaments.  Answer up.  Help your juniors.  Practice your forms at home.  And so on.  Once you identify your values, it’s easier to exercise integrity.

2.)  “If You Mess Up, Fess Up”

Let’s face it: We all make mistakes.  However, to improve, you need to admit and acknowledge your mistakes.  Doing so takes guts and courage.  You must be willing to examine yourself and your actions.  You must be honest with yourself.  If you make a mistake or violate your personal integrity, admit it and strive to improve the next time around!

3.)  Promise Less, Deliver More

We often sacrifice our integrity without knowing it.  This is done by over-promising when we commit to something.  We have the best of intentions, but unexpected challenges pop up along the way.  And before you know it, you’ve broken your promise to someone else.  So…protect your integrity by looking ahead and promising what you CAN deliver.  Honor your commitments.  Be aware of your current commitments and protect your promises.  And sometimes it’s a good policy to say “no” up front rather than break your word later.

4.)  Strive for Personal Honesty

Don’t expect to receive something of value without giving something in return.  Not only is this an example of personal honesty, but it plays a big role in your training here at our academy, too!  To reach your next rank, what are you willing to sacrifice to achieve that goal?  For most people that would be time, hard work, discipline, focus and perseverance.  Yes, integrity means paying the price for what you want.  Personal honesty also means speaking the truth in every situation.  You can reach a higher plane of personal integrity by striving for honesty at all times.

4.)  Don’t Accept Excuses

When you hear yourself inventing an excuse for your behavior…STOP!  Not only is this a terrible habit that prevents you from improving, but it also lowers your reputation in others’ eyes.  Most people can see right through excuses, and by making up reasons why you couldn’t deliver on your word, you’re only fooling yourself.  Expect high standards for yourself.

5.)  Expect Integrity from Others

The flip side of expecting high standards for yourself is that you can now expect high standards of integrity from others.  If a friend violates their own integrity, point it out to them – nicely.  Share what you’ve learned about integrity and encourage others to live up to their promises, too!

6.)  Keep Yourself Centered and Hold Yourself Accountable

If your goals aren’t written down – you’ll be at the mercy of chance and anything that comes your way.   But with a firm “center”, goal or purpose, you’re more likely to hold true to your word.  And above all, be tough on yourself.  Hold yourself accountable and accept nothing but the highest levels of integrity in everything you do.

Integrity and Your

Monthly Call to Action:

This month, I want you to think through what integrity means to you.  Picture all of your many relationships: do you bring a high degree of integrity to them?  Do you keep your word?  Are you on time and punctual?  Can people count on you?  Are you truthful and honest?  Do you avoid making excuses?  Do you hold yourself to high standards and accept nothing but the best?

As a martial artist, personal integrity serves as a solid foundation which you can build upon for life!

—Senior Master Babin

Perform At Your Peak in 2009

Welcome to 2009!  Can you believe another year has passed?  Well, now that a new year is upon us, it’s time to reflect on 2008…as well as set some new goals for the coming year.  Stop for a moment and ask yourself these questions:

• What goals did I achieve last year?
• Did I work hard to reach my goals?
• How have I grown in the last 12 months?  What have I learned?
• What new goals do I want to set for 2009?  And finally…
• What am I willing to sacrifice in order to reach these new goals?

Looking back, it’s also important to acknowledge yourself and pat yourself on the back.  I know you have achieved a lot here in our academy and grown as a result.  And guess what?  This year is going to be even better.

Especially when you start using the four secrets I’m about to reveal on the next few pages.  These secrets will help you perform at your peak, stay cool under fire and reach your goals easier than ever before.  And believe it or not, these secrets come courtesy of the…

U.S. Navy Seals!

There’s a thing or two you can learn about top performance and mental toughness from the Seals.  They’re among the most elite of our armed forces.  They conduct counter-terrorist, surveillance (spying) and direct combat missions from the sea, land and air.  As you can imagine, the process of becoming a Seal is one of the toughest physical and mental challenges on earth.  Recruits have to pass tests such as swimming with both arms and legs tied, enduring live-fire drills and surviving freezing water in the open ocean.  Most recruits do NOT make the cut.  But some do.

What makes the difference between those recruits who pass all the grueling tests to become Seals and those who don’t?  All Seal recruits are in top physical shape.  No big surprise there.  And all recruits are highly motivated to succeed.  No, the one thing that separates winners from the losers is simple…

Mental Conditioning!

The recruits who survive the challenges and earn the privilege of becoming a Seal master their mental states and this is what gives them the edge over everybody else.

How does this relate to you?  How does this fit in with you being a martial artist?  In big ways.  First, to achieve your goals, you must perform at your peak.  And to do that, you must master your mindset.  Take, for example, testings.  If you can’t tame your mind while being tested, you won’t perform well.   The same is true of tournaments: as you enter the ring, you should be relaxed and focused.  Finally, if you ever need to use your martial arts skills in the real self-defense situation, controlling your emotions could make the difference between being a victim or being a victor.  Yes, mindset plays a huge role in martial arts.  And that’s why it’s so critical for you to learn these breakthrough techniques.  So…are you with me?  Are you ready to adopt the mindset of a Navy Seal?  Good.  Because I’m now going to reveal their exclusive four-part mental toughness system to you!

The System:

The Navy Seals peak performance system has four main parts:

1     Goal-Setting

2     Mental Rehearsal

3     Arousal Control

4     Self-Talk

Let’s talk about each one of these.  We’ll start with…

1.  Goal-Setting

Under stress, the human brain fires rapidly and can quickly overload with “fight or flight” signals.  This can paralyze a person, make action difficult and put them in grave danger.  It’s the same thing that happens when a deer freezes in the headlights of an oncoming car.  The Seal’s surprising solution?  Focus on specific goals.  They discovered that doing so calms the chaos and reduces stress.  Even more crucial, focusing on specific goals activates the “logical” part of your brain which suppresses fear.  As a martial artist, this means if you’re in a stressful situation, relax and focus on points which help you execute a technique.  Let’s say you’re sparring.  What you want to do is focus on a particular stance that will set you up for a great kick.  Or focus on getting into a good position to land a punch.  Narrow your focus to simple goals.  This brings order to your brain, reduces your fight or flight instincts and helps you perform.  Remember: goals are targets.  Focus on the target.  Make sense?  Next up is…

2.  Mental Rehearsal

Mental rehearsal means picturing your performance or skill before doing it.  This, too, calms your mind, reduces stress and helps you hit your mark.  But here’s the problem: the average person’s only mental rehearsal is a replay of bad things that have happened in the past.  Why?  Because the untrained mind tends to descend into negative thoughts without proper guidance.

So here’s what you want to do instead: visualize yourself successfully completing a task, technique or series of actions.  If you’re prepping for a big tournament, picture yourself confidently walking into the ring, ready for the challenge.  Or picture yourself executing a perfect jump round kick to the head for three points.  If you’re testing soon, visualize the judge in front of you.  Then picture yourself bowing in and performing every move in your form flawlessly.  Really see it in your mind’s eye.  Then run through this exercise again and again, until your nerves have calmed and you’re 100% comfortable in that situation.

What you’re doing is rehearsing it in your mind before you do it for real.  The Seals discovered when you do this exercise, it makes executing the action easier and helps you cope with performance stress.

3.  Arousal Control

Number three is arousal control.  In a nutshell, arousal control means deep breathing to relax both the mind and body.  When breathing is uncontrolled (shallow and rapid), negative emotions such as fear and panic flood your brain.  But the Seals found a solution: take deep, slow, controlled breaths.  This pushes back your panic and clears your mind.  Sounds simple and easy.  It is.  But it’s also highly effective.

Here’s a great way to get started with this technique: when you’re under stress (such as sparring or being judged), don’t breathe from your chest (which makes you more emotional and is harder to control).  Instead, breathe from your diaphragm.  This means lower in your belly.  Try it – it really works!   Finally (and maybe the most important) is…

4.  Self-Talk

Unfortunately, we’re sometimes our own worst enemies.  The average person talks to himself at a rate of 300-1,000 words per minute…and studies prove much of this is negative (e.g. “I’m not any good at that”).  Again, this is the normal, untrained brain doing its own thing.  The Seals realized that by changing your self-talk to positive statements, it overrides the “fear signal coming from the panic button in the brain”.  Isn’t that powerful?

So instead of letting negative emotions run wild, tame your thoughts and reprogram your brain with positive self-talk such as:  “I can handle this” or: “Focus, easy…I can do it” or: “I have all the skills I need”.

You can use this skill in everyday life, too.  Make positive statements such as:  “I’m a martial artist.  I can handle anything that comes my way” or: “I’ll never give up…it might be tough at times, but I can overcome any challenge” or: “I’m getting better and stronger every day”.

This means being kind to yourself.  Do you have the guts to pat yourself on the back like that?  Speaker and minister Joel Osteen tells a story of a lady who looks in the mirror every morning and says to herself, “Girl, you look good today!”  And when she’s feeling really good, she says, “Girl, sometimes you look good, but today you look REALLY good!”

Osteen asks, “I wonder how many of us would be BOLD enough to look in the mirror and say something that complimentary of ourselves?”

So instead of voicing self-defeating or limiting thoughts, focus on positive, affirming statements.  When you do this, it short-circuits the fear center of your brain and allows you to achieve your goals that much easier!

Combined, these four “mental mastery” secrets are incredibly powerful.  So this year, when it comes time to perform, instead of being swallowed up by fear or overcome by stress, practice these special Navy Seal mental methods to calm your mind and do your best!

Your Monthly Call to Action

We’re going to do a little “experiment” in our academy over the next 12 months.  Here’s what I want every student to do: First, I want all students to write down their goals for the next 12 months (see me for a “goal-setting worksheet”).  A year from today, we’ll revisit your goals and see if you hit your mark.  Be sure to include goals for your martial arts training, academic goals and any other goals you feel are important.  And be specific.  In other words, don’t say “I want to move up three belt ranks”.  Instead, say, “I want to be a blue belt by the end of 2009”.  Make sense?  Then as soon as you’ve filled out your goal-setting worksheet, turn it in to me.  Please do this by the end of the week.  It will be fun to look back at then end of the year and see how many positive goals we’ve all achieved together!  And remember: reaching your goals is a marathon, not a sprint.  Happy New Years to everybody!  Let’s make 2009 our best year ever!

—Senior Master Babin

Internet Safety

Have you ever heard the saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”?  I’m sure you have.   As a martial artist, this means staying safe by avoiding bad situations in the first place.  You see, many dangerous situations can be traced back to one bad choice in the beginning: giving in to peer pressure, jumping in a car with a stranger, hanging around with the wrong people…or even a simple MySpace post.  Consider this:

Last October, a MySpace post led to a shocking event in Ohio.  Here’s what happened: a high school student mentioned on his MySpace page that his family would be leaving town on vacation.  Local criminals saw the post and tracked down the home.  Once the family had left town, the burglars broke in and ransacked the house.  They stole video equipment, money and even the family car.  That “innocent” MySpace post cost a family dearly.

Good Judgment Is The

Best Martial Art

As instructors, we can teach all the amazing self-defense techniques we want, but if a student makes the wrong decision, sometimes even the best technique won’t be enough to help them.  That’s why I say that good judgment is a martial art.

Unfortunately, it’s also one of the hardest skills to teach – especially to children.  Developing “street smarts” takes time and experience – two things kids lack.  Although they act worldly, kids (and teens) are naive, innocent and often too trusting.  That’s why we – as instructors and parents – have to provide that experience and help our kids make the right choices.  With more and more kids using the internet on a daily basis, I think it’s important to focus on making the right choices when it comes to internet usage.

Many of us take the internet lightly.  We see it as an “online encyclopedia” or simply a way of staying in touch with friends.  And while the Internet is one of the greatest tools ever invented…it also poses grave dangers.  This is especially true for kids and teens, who stay connected through cell phones and the internet.  Like any tool, there are right ways to use the Internet as well as lots of so-very-wrong ways.  So flip the page to discover the…

Seven Black Belt Secrets for Internet Safety:

Tip #1: You Are Not Anonymous Online

Anything you post can and probably will come back to haunt you.  The MySpace burglary proves that.  But here’s a less extreme example.  Did you know many companies now check out job applicants’ Facebook and MySpace pages for background info before they hire them?  It’s true.  That’s because your MySpace and Facebook pages speak volumes about you – and quickly showcase your habits.  Many people feel safe online and think their posts are only read by their “own little circle of friends”.  Not true.  As the MySpace story revealed, it’s not just your friends who can access your posts.  Next up is…

Tip #2:  Never Give Out Personal Info

You’d be amazed at how many people (including adults) share personal information online.  You want to avoid this because sharing even a little bit of personal info can expose you to risk.  So the rule here is simple: Do not share personal information on the internet…ever.  Never reveal your real name, your location (or part of town you live in), your school, your teachers’ names, friends’ names, your address or your phone number.  Why not?  Because it’s all too easy for people to track you down.  Like dark detectives, criminals can locate a victim using mere scraps of personal info.  Also avoid filling in “chat profiles.” Most often, these forms reveal way too much personal information to be safe.  Bottom line: Never give out personal information out on the internet.

Tip #3: People Are Often NOT Who They Say They Are Online

It’s natural for kids to be curious and connect with others on the web.  Unfortunately, bad guys know this.     What was once “stranger danger” on the street is now stranger danger on the internet.  And, according to experts, here’s the #1 problem: kids don’t feel someone they meet online is a “stranger.”  They think they know a person because they’ve chatted with them online for a while.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  A person you meet online is a stranger—especially someone you meet in a chat room.  NBC’s Dateline series reveals some of the dangers that lurk in chat rooms.  Many predators hunt for victims in a public chat room, luring them into a “private chat.” Over weeks and months, they work at gaining a victim’s trust.  Then they push for a meeting in person.

My advice?  Forget chat rooms! The internet is no place to develop real-world leadership or people skills anyway. Instead, opt for real human interaction.  Seek out friends here in our academy, at school, and through other activities.  Then after you parents have given you the green light, you can move some of your communications online.

Remember: people are often not who they say they are on the internet.

Tip #4:  Don’t Ever Meet

Speaking of chat rooms, this tip could be the most important of all: don’t ever meet a chat buddy in person.  We hear stories all the time about a child who goes missing after running away to see a “friend” they met on the Internet.  Again, a chat buddy is not a friend, they’re a stranger.  Unless your Mom and Dad have met them and really know them in person, they’re not to be trusted.  If a chat buddy wants to meet you in person, that’s your cue to tell your parents or alert the authorities.

Tip #5:  Never Accept Gifts

Don’t exchange gifts or other items with people you meet on the internet.  Why?  Again, you really don’t know who they are.  Second, you don’t know their true motives.   Even if it’s something as simple as a photo, don’t ever swap them with others.  Besides, you wouldn’t give a stranger on the street your picture.  Why would you do it online?  Remember: it’s the same thing.  Believe it or not, many abductions start with an exchange of photos.

And parents: Beware of any package addressed to your child from someone you don’t know.  This should immediately raise a red flag.  The same is true of phone calls from distant areas codes.  This too, could be a warning sign.

Tip #6:  Don’t Open Strange Emails

Beware of strange or unfamiliar emails.  While these might simply be spam, they might also contain viruses, Trojan horses or worms which can infect your computer.  Some of these viruses can actually take over your PC, turning it into a “zombie”.  It then goes onto the Internet and bombards other computers with the same virus (the “blaster virus” is a very famous example of this), spreading it across the internet.

File sharing programs such as Bittorrent and Limewire also pose a threat.  These programs can open “ports” or holes in your computer which make it easy for an intruder to steal personal information such as social security numbers, banking account info and passwords.  Once inside, hackers can even install other programs to steal your identity.  Identity theft is the #1 crime in the United States – don’t make it easier for the bad guys.

Finally, make sure your wireless connection is secure.  If you’re on a wireless connection without the proper security, it’s like rolling out the welcome mat for hackers.  Believe it or not, some hackers actually cruise neighborhoods with laptops and scan for open connections (”war driving”).

Tip #7:  Watch Computer Use

As a parent, when your child says they’ve met a new friend, you immediately ask yourself: “Who is this person?  Who are their parents?  Are they trustworthy?  Is my child safe?”

Well, when your child meets a person over the internet, you need to ask the same questions.   You have a duty to know who your child is talking to, what’s being said, and what this person’s motives are.  These days, it pays to err on the side of safety.  Watch and monitor your kids’ computer use.  If you feel you’re out of touch with the times, school yourself on the new technologies so you’re up to speed.  Get familiar with Facebook, Myspace, instant messaging, Yahoo groups, forums, email, and chat rooms.  Understand how kids stay in touch.  If your child has a blog, read it.  Most blogs have areas where others can comment on your child’s posts.  Read those posts.

Also: Put the computer in a common area of the house.  Don’t allow children to have computers in their rooms.  Experts also say kids should not have their own password-protected email, either.  Email is not a diary.  You have a right to know who’s sending your child messages and what’s being said to them.

If you feel something is amiss (trust your instincts) you may even want to install monitoring software on your child’s computer.  While some parents feel this is an invasion of their child’s privacy, many feel safety comes first.  Hire an IT consultant (like Best Buy’s “Geek Squad”) to help you install this type of software.  They can even help you review the sites your kids visit.

As Betsy Hart, author of It Takes a Parent says, “Children don’t learn how to make good choices by making choices.  Children learn how to make good choices by having choices made for them.” And some choices are better left to parents… especially when it comes to safety.  As a parent, your #1 job is to keep your kids safe.  You don’t need to fear the internet; you just need to be aware that – like anything – it does contain risks.  Follow these tips and your family will be able to use the internet as the powerful, positive tool it was meant to be!

—Senior Master & Mrs. Babin

Dealing With Bullies

Have you ever been targeted by a bully?  Are you being bullied right now?  Well, don’t feel bad – you’re not alone.  Almost everybody has had to cope with a bully at one time or another.  Being bullied creates a helpless feeling and makes you feel lousy.  Nobody likes being the target of ridicule or harassment.

But the good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way.  In this article, I’m going to reveal how to handle a bully and what to do if you see somebody else being bullied.  But first, I want to explode a couple of bullying myths:

Myth #1 – Most Bullying Happens Face-to-Face.

This is false.  These days, any communication tool can be used by a bully to harass or intimidate others.  This includes text messages, instant messages, chats, social media and cell phones.  Bullying doesn’t just happen on the playground or hallways anymore.  In fact, some types of social media bullying (such as posting unflattering pictures of a person on MySpace or Facebook) can actually do the most damage to a person’s self-esteem and reputation.  This is called “cyberbullying”.

Myth #2 – Only Boys Bully.

Again, this is false.  While it’s true that boys bully (and are bullied) more, girls bully, too.  But there are differences.  Boys tend to bully in physical ways (such as slapping, pushing and hitting) while girls tend to bully through “relational aggression”.  This means spreading rumors, revealing secrets, isolating people socially, and embarrassing others (think “mean girls”).  But whether it’s physical or relational bullying, know this: both types of bullying are destructive.

So in the next few pages, you’re going to discover how to handle both types of bullying head-on and cope with a bully of any kind.   The first thing you need to do is…

Put Your Foot Down

The first step in coping with a bully is making up your mind you’re not going to take it anymore.  Sometimes, if a person has been bullied for a long time, they actually start to accept that sort of treatment.  Don’t.  Being bullied is unfair and you have a right to be treated with respect and dignity.  Decide that today is the day to finally put your foot down and start turning around your situation.  It’s the start of a long process; it does take time to overcome a bully.

Strength In Numbers

Bullies love an audience.  They often harass victims to impress friends, show off or gain “respect” at somebody else’s expense.  By surrounding yourself with a group of friends who disapprove of the bully’s behavior, it saps the bully’s impact.  According to Greatschools.net (a site for teachers and parents), “when bystanders know how to act in a bullying situation, it’s one of the ways to stop bullying in school.  When they respond appropriately and safely, they take away the bully’s power”.

Remember, too, that like any type of predator, bullies like to single out those they perceive to be weak.  In the natural world, for example, lions target prey that are smaller, weaker or cut off from the main herd.  As a matter of fact, one of the first things a lion does when hunting is separates the prey from its natural group).

So the lesson here is simple: there’s strength in numbers.  One of the best ways to sidestep bullies is to reach out to other friendly students and “blend in with the pack”.  Make friends and stick with them during times when you would otherwise be bullied.  Not only can friends step in to protect you, but they can also serve as witnesses if you ever need to report an incident.

Finally, try to get into an area where adults are present.  That’s because most bullying incidents happen in areas where parents and teachers are not present.  Avoid being a target by blending in with the crowd, making new friends and surrounding yourself with good people.

Don’t Fight Fire With Fire

One of the biggest mistakes when dealing with a bully is taking their bait.  If a bully challenges you, never get antagonistic in return.  Don’t ever give in to a bully’s taunts, dares or verbal challenges.  Doing so only feeds the negative cycle and escalates the problem.

If the bullying is face-to-face, walk away and don’t confront the bully.  Get out of there – if possible.  A good phrase to help you save face is the old “whatever”.  If somebody says something mean to you, just say, “whatever” and walk away.  The phrase “whatever” is not confrontational, doesn’t challenge the bully directly and normally doesn’t escalate the situation.

But what if the bullying is online?  It might be hard to restrain yourself, but don’t respond to inflammatory posts (or emails) and don’t forward them to others.  However, you should save the evidence (more on that in a minute).  Again, don’t take the bait.  I know this is difficult sometimes – especially when somebody is saying something truly outrageous about you – but responding only feeds the cycle.  Don’t fight fire with fire and don’t seek revenge.   Just like face-to-face bullying, responding only escalates an already-bad situation and lengthens the cycle of violence.

Get a Plan

If the bullying incidents increase in frequency – or become a set pattern – it’s time to get a plan in place.  First, grab a notebook and write down (or “log”) your incidents.  Make sure you keep very detailed notes – be specific and jot down names, places, situations, any physical contact that occurred and exact words used.  Describe everything in detail.  If the bullying is online, this is easy: just save the evidence.  Be sure to hang onto posts, email messages, voicemails or text messages.

This does two things for you: It prepares you for the next time something happens.  By writing down what happened in the past, it helps you think through your response next time.  Second, writing things down helps you build a case against the bully if you can’t solve the problem on your own.  If, for example, the bullying normally happens at school, it’s a lot harder for school officials to ignore incidents when they’re written down and documented each time.  Yes, evidence is everything when dealing with a bully.  Which brings me to the next point:

Talk to Somebody

If an incident occurs (especially a physical incident), you need to report it to an authority figure immediately: a teacher, parent, school counselor or any adult you trust.  You can even come to me, your instructor!  With the input of your parents, we’ll craft a plan to deal with the bully’s aggressive behavior and seek ways to solve the problem (by the way, a tactic that almost never works is telling the bully’s parents).

Remember that school leaders have a duty to keep you and every other student in your school safe.  If a bully is picking on you, chances are they’re doing the same exact thing to somebody else.  So by stepping up and alerting somebody, you’re not only saving your own skin, you might be saving somebody else’s, too.       Don’t fret if action doesn’t happen right away.  Be persistent in asking for help.  Keep asking for help until you get the action you need.  Be the squeaky wheel that gets the grease!  Also: get over the idea that reporting an incident is “tattling”.  It’s not.  Any bullying incident needs to be taken seriously.

Move On With Your Life

Once your bullying situation is over (and it will be over at some point), it’s natural to feel angry and resentful.  Don’t dwell on the situation or replay incidents in your mind 1,000 times.  Anger only rips you apart and hands the bully the ultimate victory.  Instead, find it in yourself to forgive the bully.  This isn’t for them…it’s for you!  Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move beyond this chapter in your life.  You’re going to feel a lot better that way.

Let’s Wrap This Up

Whatever happens, remember this: You have no right to be bullied.  You don’t deserve it.  You ARE valuable…and it’s NOT your fault.  Like I said earlier, when you’re being harassed, it’s natural to feel bad about yourself.  But don’t let some creep get your self-esteem down.  What matters most is your opinion of yourself.  Remind yourself of all the positive qualities you have.

Unfortunately, bullying is something most of us have to deal with sooner or later.  It’s common.  So please remember the advice you learned in this article and see me if you’re having a problem with a bully!

– Senior Master Babin

More Resources:

• www.cyberbullying.us
• Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use
• Education.com (keyword “bullying”)
• Greatschools.net
• www.kidznpower.net

Karate for Kids Helps At-Risk Youth

Many years ago, a troubled young man stood at the crossroads of his life.  He fought with his parents, performed poorly in school and had trouble making friends.  Like many his age, he also struggled with issues of identity: He often thought to himself: “Who am I?” and “Where do I belong?”

In a desperate bid to fit in with peers, he joined a street gang and began the life of a street thug.  One day, he was introduced to a local (and influential) martial arts instructor.  He was excited to start training.  But other students wouldn’t accept him in class because he was of “mixed ancestry”.  That didn’t stop him: he arranged private classes with his instructor, eagerly learned the techniques and immersed himself in martial arts.  Then, after a violent street fight and encounter with the police, he realized his life wasn’t on the right track.  It was time for a change.

The boy trained for five years, then moved to the United States where he made a name for himself.  He started teaching martial arts, developed his own techniques and even went on to create his own art!  Yes, martial arts turned this troubled young man’s life around and made this boy a household name.  Who was he?  The legendary Bruce Lee.

There Are Always

“Second Chances”

Bruce Lee isn’t the only one whose life was in a downward spiral until he found martial arts.   Success stories like this abound – lots of troubled teens have turned around their lives and forged a new path using the vehicle of martial arts.  As pop star Madonna said, “That’s the nice thing about life – there are always second chances”.  Karate for Kids can be an excellent second chance for just about anybody.  Let’s take a closer look at how martial arts helps at-risk kids improve their lives.

Risk vs. Protective Factors

As kids grow up, they are exposed to a number of things which can increase the chances they abuse drugs and engage in other risky  behavior.  These are called “risk factors”.  Some of these things include:

• Victimization and exposure to violence
• Life stressors
• Intellectual and/or development disabilities
• Antisocial behavior and alienation
• Favorable attitudes toward drug use
• Poor refusal skills
• Early onset of aggression/violence
• Family violence
• Low academic achievement
• Negative attitude toward school
• Gang involvement/gang membership
• Peer rejection
• Association with delinquent peers
• Feeling unsafe in the  neighborhood
• Dropping out of school

On the other hand, there are circumstances which promote healthy behavior and decrease the chances engaging in risky behavior.  These are called “protective factors”.  Some of these include:

• Presence and involvement of caring, supportive adults
• Having a stable family
• Social competencies and problem-solving skills
• Involvement in organized religious activities
• Positive/resilient temperament
• Perception of social support from adults and peers
• Healthy sense of self
• Positive expectations / optimism for the future
• High expectations of the child
• Good relationships with parents or attachment to family
• Opportunities and reward for    family involvement
• High family expectations
• Involvement with positive peer group activities and norms
• Good relationship with peers
• Parental approval of friends
• High-quality schools/clear standards and rules
• High community expectations

Do any of these things ring a bell?  Do you see anything on that protective list that Karate for Kids Mesa provides?  I’m sure you do.  Our program possesses many protective benefits.  That’s one of the reasons it’s so effective at helping at-risk kids.  Let’s focus on just a few of these.

Karate for Kids Reduces Aggressive Behavior

Here’s a paradox that most martial arts instructors know first-hand:

The longer a student trains in traditional martial arts, the less aggressive he or she becomes.

Don’t believe it?  Well, don’t take my word for it.  This was the conclusion of a landmark study from Canada in the early 1980’s (Nosanchuk, 1981).  I believe martial arts decreases aggressive behavior because it builds a student’s self-control, self-assertiveness, self-esteem and self-confidence.  These positive traits reduce violence and aggression.  That’s one way Karate for Kids helps.  Second, in our academy we specifically teach kids how to avoid physical confrontation and teach anti-bully techniques.  We also give kids a healthy place to “decompress” and let off steam – we teach them a healthy way of coping with daily stresses.

Positive Peers

All kids want to belong to something bigger than themselves.  Problem is, some kids choose the wrong people to hang around with.  It’s a reason some kids fall prey to negative influences.  Karate for Kids provides an answer here, too.  How?  We offer children a healthy, positive group of peers.  It’s what I call a “good gang”.  It channels a teen’s natural need to belong into something productive and constructive – a group of committed people all working together in unison to reach goals and improve themselves.

High Expectations

When people have high expectations of a child, that child performs better in life and avoids risky behavior.  Does this tie into our ATA philosophy?  You bet it does!  Have you ever noticed how much we talk about goals here?  Karate for Kids training provides positive goals and a series of escalating challenges.   This keeps students focused on the future and says to them, “You can do it!” and more importantly, “We’re watching you!”

We also hold our students to a very high standard of conduct.  For an example, take a look at some of our higher-ranked students.  Our insistence on high standards also creates an atmosphere of high expectations for all our students.  This is another way Karate for Kids training becomes a protective factor for at-risk kids.  We discourage risky behavior and expect students to excel in all areas of their lives!

Provides Mentors and Role Models

One of the secrets of success in life is having a mentor or positive role model to follow.  This is another “protective factor” Karate for Kids provides: the presence of caring, supportive adults.  Not only is the chief instructor a good role model, but our senior students are, too!  They’re people who have been down the path and can help push a lower-ranked child to success.  Listen –  I like to think of our academy as an “extended family”, all supporting each other on each individual’s journey to self-improvement.

Enhances Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is a “person’s opinion of him or herself”.  This could be the most important protective factor of all.   You see, when you feel comfortable in your own skin, you’re more apt to say “no” to bad influences.  You’re able to stand up for yourself and resist negative temptations.  You have good “refusal skills”.  You value yourself and look forward to reaching your goals.  Good self-esteem is one of the biggest benefits of training here at our academy!

When you look at all these protective factors that Karate for Kids offers (and there are many, many more), it’s no wonder martial arts does a remarkable job of turning troubled lives around.  And this holds true for both teens as well as adults.

You, too, might be standing at a crossroads, looking for a new path or eager for a fresh start.  Or you might know somebody who is struggling with violence, drug abuse or simply needs a leg up.  Please refer them to our academy.  While Karate for Kids can’t solve every problem and is not a substitute for therapy, it can spark many positive changes.  Also, please see me with your thoughts on other protective factors that our martial arts programs provide.  I’d like to get your input, too!

I’m going to leave you with this quote.  John Ruskin said, “The highest reward for a person’s toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it”.   Who are you becoming through your training?

– Senior Master Babin

(See   http://www.findyouthinfo.gov for a full  list of risk and protective factors).

Support Your Karate Kids

Seven Ways to Guide Your Karate Kid to Success

A while back, a parent asked, “What is the best way to support my child in Karate for Kids?  What is my role?  How do I strike a balance between being supportive and understanding on one hand…and making sure my child shows enough discipline to reach his or her goal?”

That’s an excellent question.  In this article, I’m going to pass along seven “little pointers” that will help you and your family benefit the most from your child’s Karate for Kids training.  Chances are you are already doing some of these things.  But it’s always good to keep these pointers fresh in your mind, because the way a parent approaches their child’s training can often be the deciding factor in a child’s success …

All these pointers boil down to one thing: taking an active role.   This is no different than a parent who gets involved in normal school.  It’s the kid whose parent takes an active role who achieves the most academically.  The same idea applies in our academy.  So, here’s my first tip:

Tip #1 – Watch as Many Classes as You Can

Listen: I know it’s tempting to use your child’s class time for a quick break or as a chance to run some errands.  We all need a little extra time now and then.  But actively watch as many classes as you can.  That’s because watching your child’s class is the #1 most important thing you can do to support them.  Something magical happens when you watch your son’s or daughter’s class.  They’ll glance over their shoulder and see you watching.  They’ll do their best to impress you. They’ll take a greater interest in class themselves and they’ll try harder.  Your son or daughter feels visible when you watch class.  And while we do not permit parents to give “tips” or “corrections” from the sidelines, your child does appreciate hearing you clap and seeing you flash a big thumbs-up when they’re on the floor (always focus on the positive).

Also, watching class keeps you in touch with what is happening in our academy.  You’ll hear all the important announcements, get a copy of our newsletter, stay on top of upcoming events and discover which life skills you should reinforce at home (more on that in a minute).  And you might be called on to hold bags or get involved in other ways.  Keep showing your support and make your presence felt.

Tip #2 – Reinforce Life Skills at Home

By now, you realize Karate for Kids is not just about kicks and punches.  Sure, the self-defense techniques are valuable, but we also view them as a way of teaching life skills such as discipline, perseverance, respect, courtesy and leadership.  These life skills are everything – it’s what sets Karate for Kids apart from every other activity out there.  So discuss these life skills at home and reinforce them.  For example, at dinner you can say, “What did Ms. _______ say about courtesy today?” or “How can we use courtesy at home to make things run more smoothly?”   You can talk about life skills at the park when observing other children or you can discuss them at the grocery store.  Use all these situations outside of our academy as “teaching opportunities” – a chance to drill these positive messages home.  If you don’t have a lot of time with your child, use “drive time” (to and from our academy) to back up the life lessons we teach in class.  Talk about the life skill of the month (if you don’t know what it is, ask us).  Ask questions to stimulate conversation and get your little martial artist thinking. Reinforcing the life skills your child learns in class is a great way to support your child’s martial arts journey!

Tip #3 – Encourage Practice at Home

I recommend two or three days a week in class for the average student.  But like any other athletic activity, your child will benefit from at-home practice.  Now don’t worry: You don’t have to go crazy and construct your own dojahng in the basement or install Zebra mats in the living room.  Any open area in the home will do just fine.  Or, if the weather is nice outside, have them practice in the backyard or at the park (forms look really cool outdoors!).

A good guideline for at-home practice is  in small sessions.  See, studies prove that students retain information better in frequent, short bursts.  So instead of a three-hour “marathon training” on a Saturday afternoon, space home practice sessions into short five minute sessions every day or so.  Frequent practice helps develop “muscle memory” and instant recall in any situation. (Valuable for self defense techniques)

Tip #4 – Err on the Side of Commitment

Repetition forms the basis for true mastery.  This is true on the job, in academics and in any sport, for that matter.  Songahm Taekwondo is no different.  Routine in Taekwondo practice helps develop a student’s “reflexive skills” and the muscle memory I talked about a minute ago (for example, if somebody throws a punch, the student should be able to instinctively block without thinking about it).  But – when the repetition part of learning kicks in, a student’s feeling of “newness” or “excitement” can start to wane a bit.  This simply means they’re entering a new phase of their training.  It’s also a signal you should remind them of the goals they set early on.

When your child reaches this phase, encourage them to stick with it.  Remind them of the goals they set and the commitment they made.  And, once again, use this as a learning opportunity.  Explain to them the importance of showing perseverance and focusing on their goals.  Give them examples of how YOU had to persevere to achieve something you wanted in your life.  Remind them it’s not always “fun” or “exciting” to demonstrate discipline and commitment.  However, achieving anything truly great in life will have periods of routine and repetition.  Life is not a video game!

How hard should you push?   Most parents feel they push “too hard” when in reality, they really don’t.  I say, “Err on the side of discipline and commitment”.  For example, a parent recently said, “I don’t push my kid.  If he doesn’t want to come to class, I don’t take him”.  This is not a good policy: it goes too far in the other direction.  Why?  Because it allows a child’s emotional whims to determine their behavior and actions.  Explain to your child what would happen if this were applied in other areas of their life:  What if they didn’t “feel like” brushing their teeth every night?  Or didn’t “feel like” doing their homework?  Or they didn’t “feel like” going to college?  Or they didn’t “feel like” getting a job?  What would happen?   Help your child understand that the lessons they’re learning now carry over into their adult life – and the sooner they start building their “discipline muscles” the easier life will become.  (And isn’t building discipline one of the main reasons you enrolled your child here, anyway?).  Encourage your child to go to class consistently 2-3 times a week.  Besides: it’s always the one class they don’t want to attend that ends up being the most fun and personally rewarding!

Tip #5 – Attend a Tournaments

If you haven’t done so already, start attending tournaments.  Not only is it a lot of fun, but your child will meet new friends, hone their moves against new opponents, take their skills to a new level…and maybe come home with a new trophy to show off to their friends!

Tournaments also rev up a student’s motivation level.  They act as short-term “mini-goals” which channel a student’s focus and direct their energy.  Students know they have a few weeks to prepare for the tournament, so they work extra hard on their forms, practice their sparring with more gusto and take more pride in their techniques.  There are divisions for every age group & color belt—not just for Black Belt.  There are 3 types of tournaments: In-school, Regional & National.

An important “hidden benefit”  of tournament participation is developing confidence.  Doing new things, in new places and being successful gives your child the opportunity to learn not to be afraid to “step up to the plate” and experience personal challenges.  Now that’s learning about life!

Tip #6 – Compete, Don’t Compare

Karate for Kids is tougher than almost any other sport.  It’s mind, body, spirit, emotion, everything – wrapped up into one.  And techniques that are difficult to execute look simple from the sidelines.  Because of that, in the past I’ve seen some parents expect too much – especially at the Tiny Tiger level.  You can’t expect a Tiny Tiger to execute a perfect side kick or jump front kick.  In these lower levels, our goal is to make sure your child can follow instructions, develop gross (and some fine) motor skills, increase their confidence, have fun and prepare for the next level.  Our Tiny Tigers program helps us build a foundation for later success.  It makes no sense for us to refine three or four-year-olds techniques.  There is plenty of time for that later.  Mental development is more important at this age.

So if you feel yourself slipping into the mindset of “my kid’s technique should look a lot better”, try this: Get out on the floor and try it yourself for one class.  Or even just try holding a deep middle stance for a few minutes.  I’m serious.  If you’ve never done it before, you’ll have a new-found respect for your kid!  So don’t pressure them when it comes to technique.  Keep the focus on having fun, staying committed to their goals and getting to class.  It’s fine to encourage your child to compete at tournaments, but don’t compare them to others in class.  It sets up unrealistic expectations because every child progresses at his or her own pace.  Appreciate your child’s abilities and eventually, they’ll hit their stride.

Tip #7 – Take a Cue From Other Black Belt Parents

Finally, understand this: The skills a Karate Kid student needs to reach the rank of black belt are the same skills a parent needs to guide their child to that same rank: Discipline.  Sacrifice.   Perseverance.  Stick-to-it-ness.  Focus.    Commitment.  Approach other “black belt parents” and ask them how they achieved their goals as a family.  What was the journey like?  What sacrifices were required?  Was it worth it?  (I think you know the answer to that one already!).  Other black belt parents will help you crack the code on what it takes to get your child to the ultimate level…black belt!   
Try these seven tips today and watch your child’s motivation and skill level skyrocket!

And finally, THANK YOU for everything you do.  The parents here at KARATE FOR KIDS MESA are the “unsung heroes” and the driving force behind all the life-changing success we have in our academy!  Enrolling your child in KARATE FOR KIDS MESA is one of the most valuable investments, greatest gifts, and best decisions you’ve ever made for your child’s future.  Great job!

—–Senior Master Babin

Don’t Give Up!!!

A black belt is just another name for a white belt who never gave up!

What makes  black belts special?  Is it that they can do a perfect reverse side kick?  Or that they can bust out a form with 96 moves?  Or is that they can teach a class, inspire others and be a leader?

While all those things are impressive,  it’s actually something much simpler.  It’s that they set a goal and achieved it.  When you see that belt confidently tied around somebody’s waist here at Karate for Kids in Mesa, it means a lot more than you think.  That belt is a sign of the struggle.  It’s a sign of prestige and a sign of achievement. That belt is a visible reminder of that person’s character.

That belt represents the hours of practice they invested at the academy.  It represents the times they didn’t want to keep going, but did anyway.  It represents the tournaments they drove long distances to attend, the time they spent mentoring students, the fears they had to overcome, the obstacles that stood in their path which they blasted through.  And all the other sacrifices it takes to become a black belt.  That’s why you can’t earn a black belt overnight.  It’s a process and it takes time.

The “Law of the Farm”

We live in a quick-fix, short-term, “instant-results” culture.  This often clashes with our traditional martial arts values.  Our society’s focus on urgency and immediacy is also at odds with natural laws and what Stephen Covey (best-selling author of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) calls the “Law of the Farm”.   He says, “The only thing that endures over time is the law of the farm: I prepare the ground, put in the seed, cultivate, weed, water, and nurture growth”.    He goes on: “In school, many of us procrastinate and then successfully cram for tests. But does cramming work on a farm?  Can you go two weeks without milking the cow, and then get out there and milk like crazy?  Can you “forget” to plant in the spring, goof off all summer, and then hit the ground real hard in the fall to bring in the harvest?”

Of course not.  And I’m here to tell you: It doesn’t work that way in martial arts, either.  Every black belt you see at Karate for Kids in Mesa understands the law of the farm (whether they call it that or not) and puts it to work for them.   In fact, ask anyone who has achieved success in any field and they’ll agree.  Small, sustainable investments of time over a long period are the driving force behind most success in life.

How Are You Investing Your Time?

Every one of us has 168 hours in a week.  You, me, even Chief Masters have 168 hours in a week.  How is it then, that some people achieve so much more than others?  The answer is simple: it’s not the amount of time we have in a week that matters…it’s what we do with time that makes the difference between greatness and mediocrity.

What does the average teenager do with that time?  Here’s how: They spend 31 hours a week online.  They spend 22 hours a week watching TV and 11 hours hanging around with friends.  Seven hours a week instant messaging.  Two to three hours a day listening to (or downloading) music.  That adds up to 73 hours!  And it doesn’t include school, sleep or meals!

So when I hear somebody say they don’t have time for exercise (or go to class), I know they’re fooling themselves.  It all comes down to how badly you want to achieve your goal.  Is it worth investing four hours a week to achieve greatness?  To achieve that black belt (or next degree!) that nobody can take away from you?

And ask yourself this: How many hours do you devote to martial arts?  How much time do you practice outside of class?  Are you paying the price for the result you want?

Our Actions Add Up

To my mind, one of the most important “success ingredients” in becoming a black belt is consistency–the willingness to stick it out when others have given up.

I don’t care how talented you are.  I don’t care how much experience you have.  I don’t care how athletic you are.  I don’t even care how agile, flexible or strong you are.  If you’re consistent and stick with it, you win.  It’s just that simple.

Fulfilling Your Own Potential

Remember: The bigger the obstacle, the bigger the reward on the other side.   You must pay the price for anything you want to achieve in life.  Here’s a great example of that: I remember a guy who had the most incredible set of abs anybody had ever seen.  A true beach body.   He looked like a fitness model.  Somebody casually said to him, “I wish I had abs like that”.  He snapped back, “No you don’t.  You don’t want to do the 500 crunches I do every day”.  The Law of the Farm states that there is no such thing as something for nothing.  You must pay the price for anything you wish to achieve.  Are you willing to pay the price to achieve greatness?  To look in the mirror proudly one day and see that black belt tied around your waist?

And here’s another “dirty little secret” of achievement.  You don’t have to work that much “harder” than anybody else – you just have to stick with it longer.  This is the concept called “winning by default”.  This simply means that you can beat 90% of the pack just by sticking with it while they slack off or quit.  It means you sustain your actions and they don’t, and you avoid anything that breaks your focus.  You win “by default” because you’re still standing long after they gave up.

So this summer, I want you to work harder than you ever have before.  Keep in mind that there will be distractions competing for your time.  Don’t give in to them.  Don’t break your focus.  Stick to your goals and by the end of the summer, you’ll be one step closer to the prize than everybody else.  You’ll have won by “default”; you’ll have learned why they say a “black belt is just another name for a white belt that didn’t give up”.   You’ll have mastered the law of the farm and learned an important life lesson.

– Senior Master Babin