Karate for Kids Is More Than Just A Sport 3-2010

“The greater the loyalty of a group toward the group, the greater is the motivation among the members to achieve the goals of the group, and the greater the probability that the group will achieve its goals.” – Rensis Likert

Some people make the mistake of thinking Karate for Kids is like “any other sport”.  They place it in the same category as say, soccer, basketball, football or baseball.  And it’s true that martial arts builds strength, allows students to compete, fosters a team spirit and helps social skills.  But the similarities end there.  Karate for Kids should not be lumped together with other sports because it’s different.  Very different.  Why?  Because Karate for Kids boasts a unique mix of benefits that other sports simply don’t offer.

Now let me say this: We encourage students to participate in outside sports.  I believe it’s healthy to have many diverse interests.  I do, however, strongly believe that of all the activities you can choose to stay healthy and have fun, Karate for Kids should be at the top of your list.  Here are seven powerful reasons why that’s true, along with some quotes from real Karate Kid parents!

1.) Personal Empowerment

In most sports, you learn life lessons such as “teamwork” and “being a good sport” on the field.  But those life lessons are secondary to the sport itself.  The goal in those sports is to win games.  Not at Karate for Kids.  This is one big area that we differ from other sports.  The life skills you learn here are NOT “by-products” of the training you receive, they are the curriculum!  Personal development and empowerment form the core of our program.  We teach self-confidence, respect, discipline, courtesy, self-control, leadership and many other values as its foundation.  I like to say that Karate for Kids is a very personal journey of self-discovery.  Not all students are going to get that from football, baseball, soccer or any other sport.  But here at Karate for Kids, they do!

Here’s how one parent put it: “My daughter is involved in track, soccer and karate for kids.  I don’t see the same results from her other sports.  There’s nothing wrong with them, but they don’t work on the individual to the same extent that K4K does. This is a real individual self-builder.  The team-building concept is fine, but I think kids need more self-building sports like K4K.”

2.)  100% Practical

Unlike some sports, Karate for Kids is 100% practical.  Let’s take aerobics for example.  Aerobics gives you a great workout.  It helps develop coordination and improve your cardio.  We do this for you also, but it goes even further and gives you another “bonus benefit”:  practical self-defense skills.  Think about it: If you’re investing your valuable time exercising, why not spend it doing something that has lasting practical value?  With us, you never say to yourself, “What’s the use of learning this?  I’ll never use it”.  Instead, you walk off the floor pumped up and invigorated from a great workout with a feeling that you learned something extremely rare and valuable – that can save your life.

Also, because you’re learning a skill set (self-defense), the workouts fly by.  Not so with stair-steppers, weight-lifting or spin classes.  Most people give up on those eventually because they get bored.

3.)  Lifelong Involvement

With most competitive sports, once childhood is over, so are your competitive years.  For example, the vast majority of little-leaguers never go on to play college baseball or make it to the minor leagues.   In fact, most people are done playing baseball by age 18.  But here at Karate for Kids your growth, learning, fitness and ability to compete never has to stop due to age.  Did you know, for example, that there are divisions at tournaments for seniors?  Absolutely!  It was inspiring to see Mr. Slevin (age 65+) doing his form and competing in the February 6 Gathering of Eagles Tournament!  It’s also humbling, too, because it strips away your own excuses!

Here’s what another Karate Kid parent said about this: “Karate for Kids is something you can do your entire life.  My son will be a black belt when he’s 30, 40 and 50 years old.  There’s no age limit.  With other sports, such as football, it might be great for the time being, but there will be a time when you just can’t do it anymore.  With Taekwondo, you can.  The skills you learn as a child you can use your entire life.”

Lifelong involvement.  Just one more thing that sets Karate for Kids apart from most other sports.

4.)  It’s Year Round!

With most sports, once the season is over, it’s time to hang up the cleats for the year.  But with us, the “season” never ends.  Since training is done indoors, you can train year-round without the fear of bad weather.  Rain, snow and extreme temperatures can’t interfere with your progress.  This is also one of the secrets of why veteran martial artists are so fit: they can train consistently and maintain their fitness level over the course of the year!

5.)  Job Skills

Earning a black belt is like earning a college degree.  Ever think about that?  Once you reach a certain level of proficiency, you can actually earn money teaching classes.  Martial arts skills are also job skills that are in demand.  Granted, you may not want to become a school owner or teach as a career.  That’s okay.  But you can instruct on a part-time basis and earn money on the side.

Here’s an example: Let’s say you have a child going off to college in a few years.  Chances are, they’ll need a little spending money while on campus.  What would you rather see them do: Flip burgers at the local fast food joint…or stay in shape, continue to be surrounded by peers that are goal oriented and self disciplined and help others change their lives?

Of course, with other sports, you can try to earn money in it, but let’s be realistic: how many people really make it as a professional soccer or football player?  With Karate for Kids, having a part or full-time career is 100% realistic.  Even with this lackluster economy, demand is growing for quality instructors all over the country.  Yet another huge payoff for a martial artists like you!

6.)  Enhances Other Sports

You do NOT have to choose between Karate for Kids and another sport.  You can do both. In fact, many of the top martial artists participate in many other sports.

But here’s the surprising thing martial artists discover when they start another sport:  Their martial arts skills translate perfectly onto the basketball court, soccer field or golf course!  Your confidence, flexibility, agility, coordination and conditioning give you a leg up in other sports.  Here’s yet another parent’s experience:

“Karate for Kids has helped my son, Jack, excel at school sports. He’s currently playing baseball and basketball in addition to Karate for Kids.  One of the biggest improvements is his flexibility. He’s more flexible than all the other players.  Martial arts has also helped his speed and jumping ability.  Jack is now the highest jumper on his basketball team even though he’s not close to being the tallest.  His overall coordination has improved, too.  I’ve seen a very big improvement and so have his coaches.”

Because of the confidence and leadership abilities Karate for Kids instills in students, other players look up to the martial artist on the playing field.  Show me a baseball, soccer or football player who is ALSO a martial artist and I’ll show you a team leader.

Remember: Doing martial arts and another sport isn’t an “either or” proposition.  You can do both!

7.)  No Benchwarmers!

This is perhaps one of the most refreshing things about Karate for Kids vs. other sports: no kid is a benchwarmer.  Whatever your ability level, you have a home here.  Every student participates equally and you will be treated with respect and dignity.  That’s not true of some other sports.  I’ve heard heartbreaking stories about kids who were shunned socially because they didn’t have good athletic skills or didn’t make the cut.  But that doesn’t happen here.  We support each other as a family.

Again, the motivation behind Karate for Kids is different: it’s a journey of personal discovery and development.  That’s our goal.  But for other sports, the goal is to win games.  No, there is no such thing as “the last kid picked” K4K.  That alone is a self-confidence booster for anybody!

Summary:

So if you’re looking for something to keep your kids active, healthy and safe…Karate for Kids should be at the top of your list.  There’s no other athletic endeavor that rolls so many positive benefits into one as Karate for Kids.  You’ve made a great choice!

— Senior Master Babin

Defuse Danger 2-2010

On Christmas Day, Northwest Airlines Flight 253, loaded with 289 passengers and crew, began its descent into Detroit.  All seemed normal.  Until suddenly, an alert passenger heard something that sounded like a “muffled pop”.  He looked over a few seats and saw a man acting strangely.  Then he smelled smoke.

Ready to Act

Without a moment’s notice, the passenger climbed over other people and tackled a man who was igniting a bomb.  The hero, Dutch passenger Jasper Schuringa, saved 289 lives and averted disaster.  This was only made possible because he was alert, aware of his surroundings… and trusted his instincts.

In the next few pages, you’re going to discover how to increase your awareness, preempt danger before it strikes and develop your “sixth sense”.  The goal, of course, is to be safe in any situation.  And if trouble starts, you should be able to walk away safe and sound.

Our #1 Tool of Survival

Animals use claws, teeth, venom and overwhelming power to defend themselves.  We humans use our brains.  It’s our #1 tool of survival.  And by far, the most important way to use your brain for self-defense is by exercising awareness.  You must be aware of your surroundings at all times.  When you develop “situational awareness”, you’ll stay one step ahead of attackers and other threats.

The Four Color Codes of Awareness

Law enforcement and military experts break down states of awareness into four “color codes”:  White, Yellow, Orange and Red.   I like to think of these as “rungs of readiness” that reveal how you should respond to a potential threat.  Here’s what each one means:

Condition White

In Condition White, you are unaware of your surroundings and lack attention.  You may be day dreaming, talking on a cell phone or texting a friend.  Basically, you’re “in your own world”.  You may feel secure, but that may not be the case.  This is the condition the average person is in most of time.

Problem is, bad guys like to catch people by surprise.  The best way to do this is attack when a person is unaware – in other words, in Condition White.  When a victim is interviewed after an attack, he or she often says things like, “He came out of nowhere” or “I didn’t even see the person who attacked me”.  That’s a sure sign they were in the White state.

What to do in this state:  This one is the simplest.  Avoid being in this state – especially in public.  When a bad guy sees that you’re aware of your surroundings, in many cases he will move on and seek an easier target.  Instead of White, try to be in the…

Condition Yellow

Yellow means “caution”.  In this state you’re relaxed but alert.   Your “radar” is switched on and you’re scanning the environment.  Condition Yellow is the state Jasper Schuringa (the hero of flight 253) was in.  This is why he was ready to act when he sensed something wasn’t right.  In condition Yellow, you will NOT be taken by surprise.

What to do in this state:  Scan your environment and look for things out of the ordinary: suspicious people, vehicles out of place and especially what’s behind you (to avoid being surprised).  When walking down the street, take mental notes.  Ask yourself: “What is that guy doing wearing sunglasses at night?”  or “Why is that person wearing a trenchcoat when it’s 90 degrees outside?”

When walking to your car, have your keys ready so you don’t have to fumble around.  Check your back seat before getting in your car.

When you arrive home and unlock your front door, make sure it was not tampered with or ajar.  If you hear a strange sound in the middle of the night, don’t assume it was “just the cat”.  Carefully check it out.  Better safe than sorry.

Finally, use your “Sixth Sense”.  You already possess one, whether you realize it or not.  Unfortunately, many people ignore their Sixth Sense.  They think to themselves, “Why would anybody want to hurt me?” or “This could never happen to me”.  As a police detective recently said, “Trust your gut and if something doesn’t feel right, it usually isn’t.”

Strive to be in Condition Yellow at any given time.  Keep in mind, however, that you do NOT have to go through life afraid or suspicious of everybody.  That’s not the point.  There is a balance to be struck.  Strike the right balance and you can stay clear of most trouble.  If you DO, however, detect something’s amiss, you can move into…

Condition Orange

This means you are in danger.  A threat exists.  For example:  It’s late at night and you’re walking back to your car in a distant corner of a parking garage.  You have the feeling you’re being watched.  Then you notice four young men watching you and whispering to each other.

Or you’re walking home from school and a car slowly pulls over.

In other cases, it may be more general.  You may simply be driving through a bad part of town.  Orange occurs when there is the possibility of danger – whether or not you have identified it yet.

In this state your awareness kicks up and you notice more detail: “Why is this person approaching me?” or “Why is he reaching in his pocket?”.

Your body also becomes more sensitive.  You feel people get closer to you without seeing it.  The hair on the back of your neck might start to stand up.  Your hearing gets better.  All your senses heighten.  (By the way, a very dangerous tip-off is when somebody looks you up and down and “sizes you up”.)

What to Do in Condition Orange:      You do your thinking in this stage so when you’re ready to act, you don’t have to think.  While you don’t need to act immediately, be ready and prepared.  Focus on the threat then devise a plan.  Ask yourself, “Can I escape?  Are there any clear exits?  Are there other people around I can alert if trouble breaks out?  Or is my only choice to defend myself?”

Once you’ve made your decision, you then create a mental “line in the sand”.  When this line is crossed you snap your plan into action.  You know exactly what you’re going to do without hesitation or indecision.

Condition Red

Condition Red means you are IN conflict.  Your “line in the sand” has been crossed and you are ready to defend yourself OR you’re now taking action against a specific threat.  You may only have seconds to act.  That’s why it’s so critical to have your plan in place.

As your instructor, I hope you never find yourself in this state.  If you follow my tips on managing your lower states of awareness, you may never end up in Red.  Even so, here are some general tips on how to manage this state:

Fight, Flight or Freeze

People have three responses to big-time stress: freeze, flight or fight.  Most people panic and freeze because they were caught by surprise.  If this happens, mentally snap yourself out of this reaction.  Focus on the now – not what just happened.  Stay relaxed and BREATHE.  In Condition Red, tunnel vision can set in.  If that happens, force yourself to look around and use your peripheral vision.

Then use your adrenaline to act on your plan.  Your best option is always to escape the danger if  possible.  Run if you have to.   Many people think “I’m too tough to move”.  Don’t be afraid to give ground and don’t ever push a bad position.  There’s no reason to stand and defend yourself if you can get away.  On the other hand, if your only option is to defend yourself, do so quickly and decisively.  And never, ever lose your temper.  Anger makes you blind.

Next, work your way from the most immediate threat to the lesser threats.  In other words, take out the big guy first.  This may be enough to convince the others you mean business.

In class we go over specific self-defense techniques for a variety of situations.  Practice them.  And always use a level of force that’s necessary.  For example, there’s no reason to throw a side kick to the head if someone merely pushed you.

Finally, remember this:  You can panic on the inside but remain still and calm on the outside.  This is one of the big benefits of martial arts training – remaining calm in the face of conflict.

Summary:

Those are the four stages or “conditions” of awareness.  During your daily activities, you’ll probably never move past Yellow.  But if you do see something that isn’t right, now you know what to do:  Start in yellow and if you see a threat, move into Orange.  Then back down to Yellow after the threat subsides.  If you stay alert, you may never have to move into Red – ever.  That’s the goal!  Don’t be afraid of the world.  Just stay safe, stay alert and trust your instincts!  And most of all, keep on training.  There is no replacement for the knowledge you receive here!    – Senior Master Babin

The Power of Intention 1-2010

“”What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve” –  Napoleon Hill

Welcome to 2010!  Are you ready to hit your goals this year?  Good.  This issue will help you do that.  Let’s start with a true story that reveals the power of goal-setting and the secret of intention:

The Magical Check

One lonely night in the Hollywood Hills, a struggling stand-up comedian sat in his Toyota thinking about his future.  As he gazed down from Mulholland Drive onto the glittering lights below, he felt a burst of inspiration sweep over him.  He pulled out his checkbook and grabbed a pen.  He then wrote himself a $10,000,000 check, dated it eight years in the future (“Thanksgiving 1995”) and wrote “for acting services rendered” on the front.

It was a giant leap of faith.  Why?  Because this actor was no different than the millions of others who leave their homes to seek fame and fortune in Hollywood, only to end up rejected, broke and penniless.  You see, he had no job.  He had no connections.  And after seven fruitless years of beating the pavement in Hollywood, no big breaks.  In spite of that, he persevered and carried the “magical check” in his wallet everywhere he went the next few years.  When things got tough, he’d pull out the tattered check and look at it to lift his spirits.

Then things began to change.  His stand-up gigs started to take off.  Agents started to call.  He landed a small part in a TV show.  And the floodgates opened.  By 1995, that same actor was making a staggering $20,000,000 per film.  The actor’s name?  Jim Carrey.  You may have heard of him.

The Day of Decision

That one day changed everything.  It was a day of decision.  Jim Carrey put the world on notice that he was going to be a success…one way or another!  Without realizing it, he had tapped into the power of intention.

What is intention?  Intention means a burning determination to reach your goals.  It means you have great resolve and will accomplish your goals, no matter what obstacles block your path.  When you possess intention, your actions are deliberate and purposeful.  With that in mind, here are my five secrets for harnessing the power of intention – just like Jim Carrey did – and put it to work for you this year:

Step #1.)  Decide What You Want

All achievement starts with a definite purpose.  So start this year by mapping out a crystal clear goal.  To help choose your goal, ask yourself questions such as:  “What type of person do I want to be at the end of 2010?  What do I want to have?  What types of people do I want to be surrounded with?  What type of grades will I have?  What types of contributions will I have made to my community and others?  What rank do I want to be?”

An effective goal is specific, realistic and time-sensitive.  It’s not enough to say, “I want to be a black belt someday” because “some day” is not specific.  Instead, say “I want to be a black belt by January 2011.”   Jim Carrey wrote “Thanksgiving 1995” on his check.  That’s specific.  A goal is a dream with a deadline.

I urge you to write your goal on paper.  Some people write their goals on a 3” x 5” card, laminate it and carry it with them.  Others post it on their bedroom mirror or somewhere else they can see it every day.  It’s up to you.  Just make sure you commit it to paper.  Once you do, move on to…

Step #2.)  Create a Plan to Hit Your Goal

Without a plan, your goal is simply a daydream.  Anybody can do that.  But the secret behind winners and high achievers is their ability to plan and take action to achieve their goals.  So sit down and create an “action plan” as soon as possible to help achieve your goal.  You do this by writing down all the steps needed to reach your final goal.

Think of a goal as a long-term aim.  But along the way, you also have many short-term milestones (I talked about these last month).  The word “milestone” comes from stone markers placed next to roads in times past.  These milestones reassured travelers that they were on the right track, showed the distance traveled, as well as how many miles were left until the final destination.  Your milestones serve the same purpose.  By writing down your milestones, you can check to make sure you’re on the right track.

For example, your plan might be to: “Upgrade to Leadership, add a day to my training schedule, start teaching lower ranks and attend more tournaments”.  Once you set those major milestones, you can break them down further.  What day will you upgrade to Leadership?  When will you start teaching lower ranks?  Which tournament are you going to attend first?  Make it real.  Think in terms of physical actions.

Finally, write down what you intend to trade in return for your goal.  This is the price you’re willing to pay in effort, money, time and sweat!  Remember that there is no such thing as something for nothing.

#3.)  Stoke Your Desire

Many of us are good starters but poor finishers.  Once you start working your plan, you’ll find the day-to-day grind is always the hard part.  This is when it’s most important to keep the flame burning and your goal clearly in mind.

Best-selling author Napoleon Hill said, “If you find yourself lacking persistence, this weakness may be remedied by building a stronger fire under your desires.”

Jim Carrey built a strong fire under his desires by taking his check out of his pocket and looking at it when things got tough.  He constantly reminded himself why he was pushing so hard, overcoming so many setbacks and confronting so many challenges in his quest.

If you have your goal on an index card, you can do the same thing.  You can even do a “self-affirmation” and read your written plan at the start of each day to stay focused.

#4.)  Surround Yourself With Support

When you involve others, something magical happens: synergy.  This is the concept that the “total is worth more than the sum of its parts”.  In other words,

1 + 1 = 3.   The Beatles were a great example of synergy.  Individually, they were all brilliant musicians.  But on their own they could never come close to the pure magic they created together.  John Lennon said, “A dream you dream alone is only a dream.  A dream you dream together is reality”.

When you make your goal public and enlist others in its attainment, doors will open for you.  Things will fall into place easier.  People will appear in your path to help you.  Also, having role models to emulate builds your resolve because you’re surrounded by people who have achieved that goal.  You can also reach out for help or ask for advice.

#5.)  Stick With It

Finally, there is no substitute for perseverance and discipline.  Always remember: “What one person can do, so can another”.  This year, while others give up, YOU persevere.  Commit to doing just that little bit extra, going the extra mile, sticking with it just that little bit longer and I promise you’ll experience a true breakthrough this year.  Let’s train hard, have fun and hit our goals together in 2010!  — Senior Master Babin

Personal Victory

“Embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing” – Kahlil Gilbran

As this year comes to a close (can you believe we’re almost in 2010?), I feel it’s important to look back and reflect on what we all accomplished this year.  You see, part of growing as a martial artist is patting yourself on the back for the things you achieved, the goals you hit and all the milestones you crossed…but not just the big ones!

Celebrate Your Small Victories

I know much of the time we focus on lofty goals here: making black belt, becoming a certified instructor, learning all nine forms of the Songahm star…and so on.  And that’s good.  But did you know it’s equally important to focus on the small things you’ve achieved?  It’s true because to sustain yourself over the long haul, you need to motivate yourself along the way.  So celebrate all your milestones.  Also, small goals add up to big goals.  To use a football metaphor, “when you focus on first downs, the touchdowns take care of themselves”.   Make sense?  This all means you don’t have to focus only on the earth-shattering goals and targets.  Look back at all the little accomplishments you achieved this year, too.  They may not seem like much to other people – but they’re huge to YOU.   Let me tell you a quick (and true) story to illustrate what I’m talking about:

John’s Story and His Personal Triumph

About two years ago, John enrolled at Karate for Kids academy in another state.  When he started classes, he was like most students:  excited, ready to get going and pumped to achieve some big things.   And John had most of the attributes other students have when they begin martial arts: ambition, desire to learn, willingness to work hard and he was in decent (but not great) shape.  But John also lacked something others didn’t:  sight.  You see, John is blind.  While that would stop most other people – it didn’t stop John.  Of course, he had doubts: “How do I target effectively?” and “How can I avoid bumping into others on the floor” and “Won’t it be hard to keep my balance when I’m doing a kicks?”  But while John had those thoughts – he plowed ahead anyway.  He embraced his “limitation”.  He chose to look at martial arts as a mountain to be climbed, a test of his character, a personal journey and a way to break through to become a better person.  And most important of all, he never made excuses.

No Excuses

To make a long story short, John is now a brown belt and loving every minute of Taekwondo.  No, it hasn’t always been smooth sailing for him (it’s not for anybody – we all have to confront our own personal demons when we move up through the ranks.).  But every day John is getting closer to his goal of black belt and has learned some valuable self-defense techniques along the way.  Given his situation, I’m sure you’d agree: they’re critical.

What is the secret of John’s success?  How does he accomplish so much when so many other people with fewer challenges give up and quit?  The answer is simple: he focuses on the NOW.  He focuses on the day-to-day actions and celebrates his small victories.  Sometimes we’re so eager to achieve the big goals that we forget to focus on the here and now.  With the world swirling around us, sometimes it’s hard to focus on the present moment.  But John does this every day.  He trains his attention on the side kick he’s doing.  The high block he’s raising.   The form he’s learning.   The small stuff.  And every time he gets something right, he pats himself on the back.  It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you celebrate the small victories along the path to greatness.  And by the way, you did know anybody – regardless of physical ability – can do Karate for Kids, didn’t you?

Achieving a Personal Victory

John’s inspiring story is an excellent example of a personal victory.  Again, a personal victory doesn’t have to be an all-encompassing life-changing event.  Instead, it’s often a very private moment that nobody else notices – or cares about – but YOU.

Here’s another example.  A boy named Connor started Karate for Kids a few months ago at age six.  He had a very tough time in the beginning: He broke down when taking direction; he was extremely sensitive to feedback and criticism; and he routinely cried in class.  But fast-forward six months and he’s a different kid.  His new-found confidence is on display in every class.  When he finds himself getting exasperated, he takes a deep breath and his instructors help him composes himself.  You can see the pride on his face when he walks off the floor and isn’t choking back tears.  While other kids might not think it’s a big deal to make it through a class without crying, to Connor, it’s everything.  It’s HIS personal victory.

Stories like this abound.  Here are some other examples of personal victories:

• Kicking a bad habit (like quitting smoking or putting down the XBOX controller)
• Overcoming a fear (like the fear of sparring or tournaments)
• Pushing yourself past your limits
• Doing something uncomfortable  that you know is good for you (like public speaking)
• Hitting a goal (like completing a big assignment on time)
• Creating a business turnaround (such as getting a business out of the red)
• Creating a life turnaround (like losing weight and increasing your fitness level)
• Getting out of debt and taking control of your financial life
• Raising a grade and doing better in school (for example that grade in math you boosted from a “C” to a “B”).

So as you reflect on what you’ve accomplished this year, make sure you celebrate the small victories and what’s important to YOU.

And let me tell you: I’m proud of each and every one of you.  You’re hitting goals most people never even attempt and you’re molding yourselves into true leaders.

Keep striving to achieve your own personal victory every day!

– Senior Master Babin

Developing Self-Control through Karate for Kids

What’s the bizarre connection between marshmallows and success?  Well, in the late 1960’s, Stanford researcher Walter Mischel led an amazing experiment on self-control.  He put a series of four-year-old kids into a room and sat them in front of a marshmallow.  He said, “When I leave the room, you can ring a bell and have one marshmallow.  But if you can wait 20 minutes, when I come back I’ll give you two marshmallows.”  Then he left the room.

Can you guess what happened?  Out of the 653 kids in the study, fully two-thirds gave in to temptation and ate the one marshmallow.  The other third waited and got two marshmallows.

That’s when Mischel thought to himself, “Is there a link between waiting for the extra marshmallow and success later in life?”  There was only one way to find out.  So he tracked these children for 18 years, followed up with lots of questions and compared the two groups.  Were there any differences between those who resisted temptation and those who didn’t?  Yes.  And what he discovered was shocking.  The kids who resisted temptation and waited for two marshmallows…

• Didn’t get into as much trouble
• Were better students
• Planned ahead more
• Coped better with problems
• Made more friends and were more popular
• Got along with peers better
• Were more self-confident and determined
• Adjusted to new experiences better
• Got into better colleges
• Scored 250 points higher on their SAT’s

In contrast, the kids who gave in to temptation…

• Were more likely to become bullies
• Received worse teacher and parent evaluations
• Got into more trouble at school
• Had more behavior problems (such as controlling their temper)
• Had trouble paying attention
• Had a hard time making and keeping friends
• Had a higher BMI (body weight) later in life
• Were more likely to have drug problems

Can you believe it?  You can  actually predict a child’s success in later life with a simple test that measures self-control.  Why? According to Mischel: “If you can deal with hot emotions, then you can study for the S.A.T. instead of watching television.  And you can save more money for retirement. It’s not just about marshmallows.”

In another famous study on self-control, psychologist Angela Duckworth discovered a link between self-control and grade-point average.   Her study (done on eighth graders) proved that self-control beats intelligence when it comes to grades.  Yes, self-control was a better predictor of academic performance than even I.Q.  The key?  The ability to delay  gratification.  She said that her study shows “intelligence is really important, but it’s still not as important as self-control.”

Do these studies surprise you?  Not me.  I’ve known for a long time that a student’s mastery of self-control is one of the biggest factors in their success…not just at Karate for Kids, but also in everyday life.  That’s because self-control pays off in every area of your life.  With good self-control, you achieve more at work and in your career, have better relationships, enjoy better health and have better finances.  Self-control touches every aspect of your life.

But while the Mischel study proved that kids are born with different degrees of self-control, the good news is that self-control is an attribute that can be learned and developed in ANY student, regardless of age.  It’s a life skill.  That’s why we do everything we can to help develop this skill in our students.  Mischel says. “Once you realize that will power is just a matter of learning how to control your attention and thoughts, you can really begin to increase it.”

But what IS self-control? What goes into it?  Self-control includes…

• Making the right choices
• Overcoming bad habits
• Controlling impulses
• Delaying gratification
• Focusing on the future instead of just the immediate moment
• Resisting temptation
• Keeping your goals in mind

Here are some of the ways we teach students self-control.

Goal-Setting = Incentive

First, we help students set goals and focus on the future.  The various ranks, belts, programs and escalating challenges at Karate for Kids teaches students the value of delaying gratification.  From a very young age, students learn to achieve something over time.

Also, we remind students of the goals they set (becoming a black belt or achieving their next rank) and encourage them to work hard towards that goal.  Want a black belt?  The only way to get there is by exercising self-control and making sacrifices in the present…to create a better future.  Instead of sitting on the couch watching TV or playing video games, you need to get to class, stick to your commitments, and hone your skills.  Goals help students focus on the future, instead of thinking  only “in-the-moment”.   A goal gives them an incentive for self-control.   It helps them make good choices.  According to Dr. Phil McGraw, popular TV psychologist, a child who has a goal “makes better decisions than a kid who doesn’t.  Kids who want to win a scholarship, get a car or go to college reject options other kids don’t reject because they have a reason to reject them”.

Controls Aggression

Second, the traditional martial arts training found in BABINS KARATE FOR KIDS has long been proven to control aggression.  Lots of evidence backs up this point.  It’s what I call the “paradox of martial arts” – kids who engage in Karate for Kids training are simply less violent than kids who don’t because that training provides a healthy outlet for stress, it builds self-confidence, and it nurtures self-esteem.  The most important reason karate students are less violent is because we stress self-control.  For example, in a physical confrontation with an aggressor, we teach students to first defuse the situation and stay calm rather than yield to their emotions and strike out.  This is called a “delay strategy” and it’s an excellent way to develop self-control.  And sadly, with the rash of school violence we’ve seen on the news lately, I believe more kids need to learn this strategy.

Physical Self-Control

Next is physical self-control.  This is accomplished when we simulate combat through sparring, doing self-defense techniques and competing in tournaments.  We like to think of sparring as “playing tag with hands and feet”.  We make it clear the goal is not to harm your opponent.  Instead, you want to score points.  This helps students develop control in the “heat of the moment” – they learn to hold back, restrain their emotional impulses and rein in their aggression.  All of this training equates to a larger gap between stimulus and response.    And speaking of sparring, if you’ve ever seen lower-ranked colored belts spar, you know they can be much rougher than black belts.  Why?  Because black belts have had years of training and have developed greater physical self-control.

Focusing Attention

Third, Karate for Kids teaches students how to focus attention.  As a matter of fact, some parents join our academy mainly because they want help in controlling symptoms of ADD or ADHD for their child.  Babin’s Karate for Kids has proven to do this.  In a 2004 study, Dr. Kenneth Moran proved martial arts training boosts homework completion, academic performance, and classroom participation.  On the other hand, martial arts decreases the number of classroom rules broken, times inappropriately leaving the seat, and “call-outs” in class.  In fact, many parents of ADD / ADHD children consistently say that Karate for Kids is a “Godsend” for them.

Making the Right Choices

Finally – and most importantly – we arm children with the ability to make the right choices.  We teach students how to avoid peer pressure, drinking, smoking and other risky behavior.  Remember: Karate for Kids is NOT just about keeping your child safe physically or in a self-defense situation.  Good judgment is a big part of martial arts because you won’t have to use your self-defense techniques if you learn to avoid risky situations in the first place.

Karate for Kids develops students mentally as well as physically.  But developing self-control doesn’t happen overnight.  Like any life skill, it takes time.  However, I believe when our students possess a strong “core” of self-control, they’ll do a lot better in life.  With all the evidence you’ve seen so far, don’t you agree self-control is a huge success ingredient in life?  Could you think of any greater investment?  Could you think of any greater payoff for martial arts training?  Don’t touch that marshmallow!

—-Senior Master William J Babin

A Lifetime of Healthy Habits 11-08

“Mastering others is strength.  Mastering the self is true power ” – Lao Tzu (Ancient Chinese Philosopher)

You may not realize it, but every day you step into our academy, you’re building healthy lifelong habits.  You’re one of the smart few: You are making physical activity, exercise and positive habits a big part of your life.  Why is this so important?

Our Sedentary Lifestyle

I don’t have to tell you how out of shape most Americans are.  The statistics are

grim: Two out of every three Americans are either overweight or obese.  And over the last thirty years childhood obesity has tripled.  This trend puts Americans at increased risk of heart disease, stroke, diabetes and a whole host of other weight-related disorders.   You hear about this disturbing trend in the news all the time.  Here’s a story I heard recently:

Jim Rome (the sports guy) recently reported the classic “Jungle Cruise” ride at Disneyland was closed for an overhaul.  Why?  Because the boats (designed 40 years ago) were starting to scrape the tracks on the bottom of the river.  Turns out the average weight of riders had exploded in recent years and the boats had to be “adjusted” to handle the extra mass!  The list goes on and on.

But know this: Our academy is working hard to reverse this disturbing trend!   Yes, there is a renewed focus on fitness in the ATA and we’re leading the charge!  Martial Arts training is the best way to develop healthy habits that last an entire lifetime.  Here’s how:

Instills a Habit of Regular  Physical Activity

Studies show that the earlier you develop a habit of regular exercise, the more likely you’ll be to continue that lifestyle into adulthood.  As Dr. Drew Pinsky said in Muscle and Fitness Magazine:  “Patterns are established early in life.  And one thing is clear about exercise: It’s not a hobby, it’s a lifestyle.  In my experience, if people don’t start young with exercise as part of their lives, it’s harder to bring them in later”.  ATA Taekwondo training cements a regimen of regular exercise into a person’s daily routine at an early age and makes it a permanent fixture in his/her life.  This sets students up for success into adolescence and adulthood.

Teaches Goal-Setting

Living a healthy lifestyle requires goal-setting.  Goals give you a way to measure your progress and also help motivate you.  This is another reason martial arts training is so beneficial.  ATA Taekwondo teaches students how to set realistic, measurable goals as well as how to achieve those goals.   In fact, the very belts students wear around their waists signify the goals they’ve already achieved!  Goal-setting is a core element of Martial Arts training and students reap the benefits of this skill for the rest of their lives.

Teaches Discipline

It’s great to have positive goals, but if you can’t muster the discipline to get to class or exercise regularly, what’s the point?  Self-discipline is the engine that drives you to achieve your goals.  ATA Taekwondo teaches discipline and follow-through by holding students accountable and keeping them on track to reach their targets.  Self-disciplined martial artists are able to both set healthy goals as well as achieve those goals.  And like goal-setting skills, self-discipline pays dividends in all areas of a student’s life.

Surrounds You with “Positive Peers”

The Mayo Clinic reports that one of the biggest risk factors for obesity is social isolation.  Joining ATA Taekwondo classes helps you make new friends, contributes to a positive social support group, and forms a network of like-minded peers.

Take a look around our academy.  Just look at all the positive, motivated winners we have here.  Every day you train, you’re surrounded by fit, active people who are all building healthy habits together.  When you surround yourself with healthy, positive people, it rubs off on YOU.  This is one of the “hidden ways” our program builds healthy habits: you make new friends, gain a positive peer group, and get more social support.  And this can add years to your life!

Teaches Good Coping Skills

Everybody needs an outlet for stress.  Unfortunately, some people choose unhealthy ways of coping:  watching TV, overeating, smoking, drinking or gaming excessively.  On the other hand, smart people (like YOU!) develop healthy and positive ways of coping with stress… ATA Taekwondo!  Striking and kicking bags, sparring, perfecting your side-kick in class, practicing forms, and competing in tournaments all help you handle stress in a positive, healthy way.  Letting off steam through martial arts reduces cortisol, bringing your blood pressure down, boosting your metabolism, and taking the edge off your day.

Makes Exercise Fun

Let’s face it: pedaling a stationary bike isn’t fun and doing endless sit-ups doesn’t turn most people on.  But Karate for kids does!  And this is crucial to losing weight and staying in shape for a lifetime:  Most people who have lost weight – and kept it off – say one of the secrets is to find an activity that “doesn’t feel like exercise”. BABIN’S BLACK BELT ACADEMY classes fit that bill perfectly.  They stimulate you mentally as well as physically.  And let me tell you: Time passes a lot faster when you’re sparring than walking on a treadmill!  Through Karate for Kids, you learn that physical activity doesn’t have to be drudgery.

Makes Other Sports Easier

Finally, Karate for Kids training improves so many areas of your overall fitness, it makes it easier for you to engage in other sports and activities.  Consider one area of fitness: coordination, balance, and agility.   BBC Health reported in a landmark study that “clumsy and poorly coordinated children are at higher risk of obesity later in life”. Why?  “Because such children shied away from sports as they got older.” Sure makes sense!!  If you develop balance, coordination, and agility at an early age through Karate for Kids, it enables and encourages you to stay active your whole life!

I want to commend you for bucking the sedentary trend of our times.  You’re one of the few that realize how crucial exercise and regular physical activity are!  Great job – don’t give up and stay on track to reach your goals this month!

—Senior Master Babin

Rock Solid Integrity

“Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching ” – Unknown

In Taekwondo, the pine tree and rock symbolize your path from a small seedling into a mighty giant: a huge pine tree firmly planted in a foundation of solid granite.

But you can take it a step further.  To me, the rock and pine tree also represent the essence of integrity.  The pine tree symbolizes YOU.  As you learn and grow, so does the pine tree.  The rock, on the other hand, symbolizes your foundation.  And in my view, for a life of leadership, the best foundation is one of personal integrity.  And like a building, without a solid foundation you simply can’t rise to great heights or achieve your true potential.     That’s why integrity is such a coveted value in the martial arts.   So let’s take a closer look at integrity and discover how you can forge your own personal integrity and make it work for you.

What Is “Integrity”?

Integrity means firm adherence to a code of values and acting in accordance with your principles.  It also means honesty, keeping your word and speaking the truth.  Like many life skills, integrity is a character trait, something that reveals your true self.  Integrity forms the basis of both trust and respect.  And I think you’d agree: Without other people’s trust and respect, there isn’t much you can accomplish in this world!  No person is an island.  That’s why integrity is so important to your success, both in our academy as well as in the future.

“Matching Tongues”

I heard a funny quote that sums up the idea of integrity: “The tongue in your shoe must match the tongue in your mouth”.  In other words, you must walk the talk.    You see, when your words and deeds match, you have integrity.  But if you say one thing and do another, you’re said to be “out of integrity”.  Here’s an example:

A student says his goal is to become a black belt by the end of next year.  But then he misses classes, doesn’t practice at home and doesn’t work hard during the testing cycle.  In this example, he would be “out of integrity”.  On the other hand, if he attends classes regularly, stays focused on his goal and works hard, he’d have integrity in his actions.  Words and deeds match. Make sense?

One of your goals as an authentic martial artist should be to build your own integrity and use it as a foundation to reach your goals and become a leader.

How to Forge Your Own Lasting Integrity

Like any value to be achieved, building integrity requires consistent effort and discipline.  But the process also requires knowledge.  Here are my six tips for developing your own personal integrity:

1.)  Know Your Values and Identify Your Principles

The first step in developing your integrity is knowing your principles and identifying your values.  What are your goals?  What do you want?  What do you value?  If, for example, you say, “I want to be a black belt in two years”, be prepared to back up that statement.  Attend every class you can.  Participate in tournaments.  Answer up.  Help your juniors.  Practice your forms at home.  And so on.  Once you identify your values, it’s easier to exercise integrity.

2.)  “If You Mess Up, Fess Up”

Let’s face it: We all make mistakes.  However, to improve, you need to admit and acknowledge your mistakes.  Doing so takes guts and courage.  You must be willing to examine yourself and your actions.  You must be honest with yourself.  If you make a mistake or violate your personal integrity, admit it and strive to improve the next time around!

3.)  Promise Less, Deliver More

We often sacrifice our integrity without knowing it.  This is done by over-promising when we commit to something.  We have the best of intentions, but unexpected challenges pop up along the way.  And before you know it, you’ve broken your promise to someone else.  So…protect your integrity by looking ahead and promising what you CAN deliver.  Honor your commitments.  Be aware of your current commitments and protect your promises.  And sometimes it’s a good policy to say “no” up front rather than break your word later.

4.)  Strive for Personal Honesty

Don’t expect to receive something of value without giving something in return.  Not only is this an example of personal honesty, but it plays a big role in your training here at our academy, too!  To reach your next rank, what are you willing to sacrifice to achieve that goal?  For most people that would be time, hard work, discipline, focus and perseverance.  Yes, integrity means paying the price for what you want.  Personal honesty also means speaking the truth in every situation.  You can reach a higher plane of personal integrity by striving for honesty at all times.

4.)  Don’t Accept Excuses

When you hear yourself inventing an excuse for your behavior…STOP!  Not only is this a terrible habit that prevents you from improving, but it also lowers your reputation in others’ eyes.  Most people can see right through excuses, and by making up reasons why you couldn’t deliver on your word, you’re only fooling yourself.  Expect high standards for yourself.

5.)  Expect Integrity from Others

The flip side of expecting high standards for yourself is that you can now expect high standards of integrity from others.  If a friend violates their own integrity, point it out to them – nicely.  Share what you’ve learned about integrity and encourage others to live up to their promises, too!

6.)  Keep Yourself Centered and Hold Yourself Accountable

If your goals aren’t written down – you’ll be at the mercy of chance and anything that comes your way.   But with a firm “center”, goal or purpose, you’re more likely to hold true to your word.  And above all, be tough on yourself.  Hold yourself accountable and accept nothing but the highest levels of integrity in everything you do.

Integrity and Your

Monthly Call to Action:

This month, I want you to think through what integrity means to you.  Picture all of your many relationships: do you bring a high degree of integrity to them?  Do you keep your word?  Are you on time and punctual?  Can people count on you?  Are you truthful and honest?  Do you avoid making excuses?  Do you hold yourself to high standards and accept nothing but the best?

As a martial artist, personal integrity serves as a solid foundation which you can build upon for life!

—Senior Master Babin

Perform At Your Peak in 2009

Welcome to 2009!  Can you believe another year has passed?  Well, now that a new year is upon us, it’s time to reflect on 2008…as well as set some new goals for the coming year.  Stop for a moment and ask yourself these questions:

• What goals did I achieve last year?
• Did I work hard to reach my goals?
• How have I grown in the last 12 months?  What have I learned?
• What new goals do I want to set for 2009?  And finally…
• What am I willing to sacrifice in order to reach these new goals?

Looking back, it’s also important to acknowledge yourself and pat yourself on the back.  I know you have achieved a lot here in our academy and grown as a result.  And guess what?  This year is going to be even better.

Especially when you start using the four secrets I’m about to reveal on the next few pages.  These secrets will help you perform at your peak, stay cool under fire and reach your goals easier than ever before.  And believe it or not, these secrets come courtesy of the…

U.S. Navy Seals!

There’s a thing or two you can learn about top performance and mental toughness from the Seals.  They’re among the most elite of our armed forces.  They conduct counter-terrorist, surveillance (spying) and direct combat missions from the sea, land and air.  As you can imagine, the process of becoming a Seal is one of the toughest physical and mental challenges on earth.  Recruits have to pass tests such as swimming with both arms and legs tied, enduring live-fire drills and surviving freezing water in the open ocean.  Most recruits do NOT make the cut.  But some do.

What makes the difference between those recruits who pass all the grueling tests to become Seals and those who don’t?  All Seal recruits are in top physical shape.  No big surprise there.  And all recruits are highly motivated to succeed.  No, the one thing that separates winners from the losers is simple…

Mental Conditioning!

The recruits who survive the challenges and earn the privilege of becoming a Seal master their mental states and this is what gives them the edge over everybody else.

How does this relate to you?  How does this fit in with you being a martial artist?  In big ways.  First, to achieve your goals, you must perform at your peak.  And to do that, you must master your mindset.  Take, for example, testings.  If you can’t tame your mind while being tested, you won’t perform well.   The same is true of tournaments: as you enter the ring, you should be relaxed and focused.  Finally, if you ever need to use your martial arts skills in the real self-defense situation, controlling your emotions could make the difference between being a victim or being a victor.  Yes, mindset plays a huge role in martial arts.  And that’s why it’s so critical for you to learn these breakthrough techniques.  So…are you with me?  Are you ready to adopt the mindset of a Navy Seal?  Good.  Because I’m now going to reveal their exclusive four-part mental toughness system to you!

The System:

The Navy Seals peak performance system has four main parts:

1     Goal-Setting

2     Mental Rehearsal

3     Arousal Control

4     Self-Talk

Let’s talk about each one of these.  We’ll start with…

1.  Goal-Setting

Under stress, the human brain fires rapidly and can quickly overload with “fight or flight” signals.  This can paralyze a person, make action difficult and put them in grave danger.  It’s the same thing that happens when a deer freezes in the headlights of an oncoming car.  The Seal’s surprising solution?  Focus on specific goals.  They discovered that doing so calms the chaos and reduces stress.  Even more crucial, focusing on specific goals activates the “logical” part of your brain which suppresses fear.  As a martial artist, this means if you’re in a stressful situation, relax and focus on points which help you execute a technique.  Let’s say you’re sparring.  What you want to do is focus on a particular stance that will set you up for a great kick.  Or focus on getting into a good position to land a punch.  Narrow your focus to simple goals.  This brings order to your brain, reduces your fight or flight instincts and helps you perform.  Remember: goals are targets.  Focus on the target.  Make sense?  Next up is…

2.  Mental Rehearsal

Mental rehearsal means picturing your performance or skill before doing it.  This, too, calms your mind, reduces stress and helps you hit your mark.  But here’s the problem: the average person’s only mental rehearsal is a replay of bad things that have happened in the past.  Why?  Because the untrained mind tends to descend into negative thoughts without proper guidance.

So here’s what you want to do instead: visualize yourself successfully completing a task, technique or series of actions.  If you’re prepping for a big tournament, picture yourself confidently walking into the ring, ready for the challenge.  Or picture yourself executing a perfect jump round kick to the head for three points.  If you’re testing soon, visualize the judge in front of you.  Then picture yourself bowing in and performing every move in your form flawlessly.  Really see it in your mind’s eye.  Then run through this exercise again and again, until your nerves have calmed and you’re 100% comfortable in that situation.

What you’re doing is rehearsing it in your mind before you do it for real.  The Seals discovered when you do this exercise, it makes executing the action easier and helps you cope with performance stress.

3.  Arousal Control

Number three is arousal control.  In a nutshell, arousal control means deep breathing to relax both the mind and body.  When breathing is uncontrolled (shallow and rapid), negative emotions such as fear and panic flood your brain.  But the Seals found a solution: take deep, slow, controlled breaths.  This pushes back your panic and clears your mind.  Sounds simple and easy.  It is.  But it’s also highly effective.

Here’s a great way to get started with this technique: when you’re under stress (such as sparring or being judged), don’t breathe from your chest (which makes you more emotional and is harder to control).  Instead, breathe from your diaphragm.  This means lower in your belly.  Try it – it really works!   Finally (and maybe the most important) is…

4.  Self-Talk

Unfortunately, we’re sometimes our own worst enemies.  The average person talks to himself at a rate of 300-1,000 words per minute…and studies prove much of this is negative (e.g. “I’m not any good at that”).  Again, this is the normal, untrained brain doing its own thing.  The Seals realized that by changing your self-talk to positive statements, it overrides the “fear signal coming from the panic button in the brain”.  Isn’t that powerful?

So instead of letting negative emotions run wild, tame your thoughts and reprogram your brain with positive self-talk such as:  “I can handle this” or: “Focus, easy…I can do it” or: “I have all the skills I need”.

You can use this skill in everyday life, too.  Make positive statements such as:  “I’m a martial artist.  I can handle anything that comes my way” or: “I’ll never give up…it might be tough at times, but I can overcome any challenge” or: “I’m getting better and stronger every day”.

This means being kind to yourself.  Do you have the guts to pat yourself on the back like that?  Speaker and minister Joel Osteen tells a story of a lady who looks in the mirror every morning and says to herself, “Girl, you look good today!”  And when she’s feeling really good, she says, “Girl, sometimes you look good, but today you look REALLY good!”

Osteen asks, “I wonder how many of us would be BOLD enough to look in the mirror and say something that complimentary of ourselves?”

So instead of voicing self-defeating or limiting thoughts, focus on positive, affirming statements.  When you do this, it short-circuits the fear center of your brain and allows you to achieve your goals that much easier!

Combined, these four “mental mastery” secrets are incredibly powerful.  So this year, when it comes time to perform, instead of being swallowed up by fear or overcome by stress, practice these special Navy Seal mental methods to calm your mind and do your best!

Your Monthly Call to Action

We’re going to do a little “experiment” in our academy over the next 12 months.  Here’s what I want every student to do: First, I want all students to write down their goals for the next 12 months (see me for a “goal-setting worksheet”).  A year from today, we’ll revisit your goals and see if you hit your mark.  Be sure to include goals for your martial arts training, academic goals and any other goals you feel are important.  And be specific.  In other words, don’t say “I want to move up three belt ranks”.  Instead, say, “I want to be a blue belt by the end of 2009”.  Make sense?  Then as soon as you’ve filled out your goal-setting worksheet, turn it in to me.  Please do this by the end of the week.  It will be fun to look back at then end of the year and see how many positive goals we’ve all achieved together!  And remember: reaching your goals is a marathon, not a sprint.  Happy New Years to everybody!  Let’s make 2009 our best year ever!

—Senior Master Babin

Internet Safety

Have you ever heard the saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”?  I’m sure you have.   As a martial artist, this means staying safe by avoiding bad situations in the first place.  You see, many dangerous situations can be traced back to one bad choice in the beginning: giving in to peer pressure, jumping in a car with a stranger, hanging around with the wrong people…or even a simple MySpace post.  Consider this:

Last October, a MySpace post led to a shocking event in Ohio.  Here’s what happened: a high school student mentioned on his MySpace page that his family would be leaving town on vacation.  Local criminals saw the post and tracked down the home.  Once the family had left town, the burglars broke in and ransacked the house.  They stole video equipment, money and even the family car.  That “innocent” MySpace post cost a family dearly.

Good Judgment Is The

Best Martial Art

As instructors, we can teach all the amazing self-defense techniques we want, but if a student makes the wrong decision, sometimes even the best technique won’t be enough to help them.  That’s why I say that good judgment is a martial art.

Unfortunately, it’s also one of the hardest skills to teach – especially to children.  Developing “street smarts” takes time and experience – two things kids lack.  Although they act worldly, kids (and teens) are naive, innocent and often too trusting.  That’s why we – as instructors and parents – have to provide that experience and help our kids make the right choices.  With more and more kids using the internet on a daily basis, I think it’s important to focus on making the right choices when it comes to internet usage.

Many of us take the internet lightly.  We see it as an “online encyclopedia” or simply a way of staying in touch with friends.  And while the Internet is one of the greatest tools ever invented…it also poses grave dangers.  This is especially true for kids and teens, who stay connected through cell phones and the internet.  Like any tool, there are right ways to use the Internet as well as lots of so-very-wrong ways.  So flip the page to discover the…

Seven Black Belt Secrets for Internet Safety:

Tip #1: You Are Not Anonymous Online

Anything you post can and probably will come back to haunt you.  The MySpace burglary proves that.  But here’s a less extreme example.  Did you know many companies now check out job applicants’ Facebook and MySpace pages for background info before they hire them?  It’s true.  That’s because your MySpace and Facebook pages speak volumes about you – and quickly showcase your habits.  Many people feel safe online and think their posts are only read by their “own little circle of friends”.  Not true.  As the MySpace story revealed, it’s not just your friends who can access your posts.  Next up is…

Tip #2:  Never Give Out Personal Info

You’d be amazed at how many people (including adults) share personal information online.  You want to avoid this because sharing even a little bit of personal info can expose you to risk.  So the rule here is simple: Do not share personal information on the internet…ever.  Never reveal your real name, your location (or part of town you live in), your school, your teachers’ names, friends’ names, your address or your phone number.  Why not?  Because it’s all too easy for people to track you down.  Like dark detectives, criminals can locate a victim using mere scraps of personal info.  Also avoid filling in “chat profiles.” Most often, these forms reveal way too much personal information to be safe.  Bottom line: Never give out personal information out on the internet.

Tip #3: People Are Often NOT Who They Say They Are Online

It’s natural for kids to be curious and connect with others on the web.  Unfortunately, bad guys know this.     What was once “stranger danger” on the street is now stranger danger on the internet.  And, according to experts, here’s the #1 problem: kids don’t feel someone they meet online is a “stranger.”  They think they know a person because they’ve chatted with them online for a while.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  A person you meet online is a stranger—especially someone you meet in a chat room.  NBC’s Dateline series reveals some of the dangers that lurk in chat rooms.  Many predators hunt for victims in a public chat room, luring them into a “private chat.” Over weeks and months, they work at gaining a victim’s trust.  Then they push for a meeting in person.

My advice?  Forget chat rooms! The internet is no place to develop real-world leadership or people skills anyway. Instead, opt for real human interaction.  Seek out friends here in our academy, at school, and through other activities.  Then after you parents have given you the green light, you can move some of your communications online.

Remember: people are often not who they say they are on the internet.

Tip #4:  Don’t Ever Meet

Speaking of chat rooms, this tip could be the most important of all: don’t ever meet a chat buddy in person.  We hear stories all the time about a child who goes missing after running away to see a “friend” they met on the Internet.  Again, a chat buddy is not a friend, they’re a stranger.  Unless your Mom and Dad have met them and really know them in person, they’re not to be trusted.  If a chat buddy wants to meet you in person, that’s your cue to tell your parents or alert the authorities.

Tip #5:  Never Accept Gifts

Don’t exchange gifts or other items with people you meet on the internet.  Why?  Again, you really don’t know who they are.  Second, you don’t know their true motives.   Even if it’s something as simple as a photo, don’t ever swap them with others.  Besides, you wouldn’t give a stranger on the street your picture.  Why would you do it online?  Remember: it’s the same thing.  Believe it or not, many abductions start with an exchange of photos.

And parents: Beware of any package addressed to your child from someone you don’t know.  This should immediately raise a red flag.  The same is true of phone calls from distant areas codes.  This too, could be a warning sign.

Tip #6:  Don’t Open Strange Emails

Beware of strange or unfamiliar emails.  While these might simply be spam, they might also contain viruses, Trojan horses or worms which can infect your computer.  Some of these viruses can actually take over your PC, turning it into a “zombie”.  It then goes onto the Internet and bombards other computers with the same virus (the “blaster virus” is a very famous example of this), spreading it across the internet.

File sharing programs such as Bittorrent and Limewire also pose a threat.  These programs can open “ports” or holes in your computer which make it easy for an intruder to steal personal information such as social security numbers, banking account info and passwords.  Once inside, hackers can even install other programs to steal your identity.  Identity theft is the #1 crime in the United States – don’t make it easier for the bad guys.

Finally, make sure your wireless connection is secure.  If you’re on a wireless connection without the proper security, it’s like rolling out the welcome mat for hackers.  Believe it or not, some hackers actually cruise neighborhoods with laptops and scan for open connections (”war driving”).

Tip #7:  Watch Computer Use

As a parent, when your child says they’ve met a new friend, you immediately ask yourself: “Who is this person?  Who are their parents?  Are they trustworthy?  Is my child safe?”

Well, when your child meets a person over the internet, you need to ask the same questions.   You have a duty to know who your child is talking to, what’s being said, and what this person’s motives are.  These days, it pays to err on the side of safety.  Watch and monitor your kids’ computer use.  If you feel you’re out of touch with the times, school yourself on the new technologies so you’re up to speed.  Get familiar with Facebook, Myspace, instant messaging, Yahoo groups, forums, email, and chat rooms.  Understand how kids stay in touch.  If your child has a blog, read it.  Most blogs have areas where others can comment on your child’s posts.  Read those posts.

Also: Put the computer in a common area of the house.  Don’t allow children to have computers in their rooms.  Experts also say kids should not have their own password-protected email, either.  Email is not a diary.  You have a right to know who’s sending your child messages and what’s being said to them.

If you feel something is amiss (trust your instincts) you may even want to install monitoring software on your child’s computer.  While some parents feel this is an invasion of their child’s privacy, many feel safety comes first.  Hire an IT consultant (like Best Buy’s “Geek Squad”) to help you install this type of software.  They can even help you review the sites your kids visit.

As Betsy Hart, author of It Takes a Parent says, “Children don’t learn how to make good choices by making choices.  Children learn how to make good choices by having choices made for them.” And some choices are better left to parents… especially when it comes to safety.  As a parent, your #1 job is to keep your kids safe.  You don’t need to fear the internet; you just need to be aware that – like anything – it does contain risks.  Follow these tips and your family will be able to use the internet as the powerful, positive tool it was meant to be!

—Senior Master & Mrs. Babin

Dealing With Bullies

Have you ever been targeted by a bully?  Are you being bullied right now?  Well, don’t feel bad – you’re not alone.  Almost everybody has had to cope with a bully at one time or another.  Being bullied creates a helpless feeling and makes you feel lousy.  Nobody likes being the target of ridicule or harassment.

But the good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way.  In this article, I’m going to reveal how to handle a bully and what to do if you see somebody else being bullied.  But first, I want to explode a couple of bullying myths:

Myth #1 – Most Bullying Happens Face-to-Face.

This is false.  These days, any communication tool can be used by a bully to harass or intimidate others.  This includes text messages, instant messages, chats, social media and cell phones.  Bullying doesn’t just happen on the playground or hallways anymore.  In fact, some types of social media bullying (such as posting unflattering pictures of a person on MySpace or Facebook) can actually do the most damage to a person’s self-esteem and reputation.  This is called “cyberbullying”.

Myth #2 – Only Boys Bully.

Again, this is false.  While it’s true that boys bully (and are bullied) more, girls bully, too.  But there are differences.  Boys tend to bully in physical ways (such as slapping, pushing and hitting) while girls tend to bully through “relational aggression”.  This means spreading rumors, revealing secrets, isolating people socially, and embarrassing others (think “mean girls”).  But whether it’s physical or relational bullying, know this: both types of bullying are destructive.

So in the next few pages, you’re going to discover how to handle both types of bullying head-on and cope with a bully of any kind.   The first thing you need to do is…

Put Your Foot Down

The first step in coping with a bully is making up your mind you’re not going to take it anymore.  Sometimes, if a person has been bullied for a long time, they actually start to accept that sort of treatment.  Don’t.  Being bullied is unfair and you have a right to be treated with respect and dignity.  Decide that today is the day to finally put your foot down and start turning around your situation.  It’s the start of a long process; it does take time to overcome a bully.

Strength In Numbers

Bullies love an audience.  They often harass victims to impress friends, show off or gain “respect” at somebody else’s expense.  By surrounding yourself with a group of friends who disapprove of the bully’s behavior, it saps the bully’s impact.  According to Greatschools.net (a site for teachers and parents), “when bystanders know how to act in a bullying situation, it’s one of the ways to stop bullying in school.  When they respond appropriately and safely, they take away the bully’s power”.

Remember, too, that like any type of predator, bullies like to single out those they perceive to be weak.  In the natural world, for example, lions target prey that are smaller, weaker or cut off from the main herd.  As a matter of fact, one of the first things a lion does when hunting is separates the prey from its natural group).

So the lesson here is simple: there’s strength in numbers.  One of the best ways to sidestep bullies is to reach out to other friendly students and “blend in with the pack”.  Make friends and stick with them during times when you would otherwise be bullied.  Not only can friends step in to protect you, but they can also serve as witnesses if you ever need to report an incident.

Finally, try to get into an area where adults are present.  That’s because most bullying incidents happen in areas where parents and teachers are not present.  Avoid being a target by blending in with the crowd, making new friends and surrounding yourself with good people.

Don’t Fight Fire With Fire

One of the biggest mistakes when dealing with a bully is taking their bait.  If a bully challenges you, never get antagonistic in return.  Don’t ever give in to a bully’s taunts, dares or verbal challenges.  Doing so only feeds the negative cycle and escalates the problem.

If the bullying is face-to-face, walk away and don’t confront the bully.  Get out of there – if possible.  A good phrase to help you save face is the old “whatever”.  If somebody says something mean to you, just say, “whatever” and walk away.  The phrase “whatever” is not confrontational, doesn’t challenge the bully directly and normally doesn’t escalate the situation.

But what if the bullying is online?  It might be hard to restrain yourself, but don’t respond to inflammatory posts (or emails) and don’t forward them to others.  However, you should save the evidence (more on that in a minute).  Again, don’t take the bait.  I know this is difficult sometimes – especially when somebody is saying something truly outrageous about you – but responding only feeds the cycle.  Don’t fight fire with fire and don’t seek revenge.   Just like face-to-face bullying, responding only escalates an already-bad situation and lengthens the cycle of violence.

Get a Plan

If the bullying incidents increase in frequency – or become a set pattern – it’s time to get a plan in place.  First, grab a notebook and write down (or “log”) your incidents.  Make sure you keep very detailed notes – be specific and jot down names, places, situations, any physical contact that occurred and exact words used.  Describe everything in detail.  If the bullying is online, this is easy: just save the evidence.  Be sure to hang onto posts, email messages, voicemails or text messages.

This does two things for you: It prepares you for the next time something happens.  By writing down what happened in the past, it helps you think through your response next time.  Second, writing things down helps you build a case against the bully if you can’t solve the problem on your own.  If, for example, the bullying normally happens at school, it’s a lot harder for school officials to ignore incidents when they’re written down and documented each time.  Yes, evidence is everything when dealing with a bully.  Which brings me to the next point:

Talk to Somebody

If an incident occurs (especially a physical incident), you need to report it to an authority figure immediately: a teacher, parent, school counselor or any adult you trust.  You can even come to me, your instructor!  With the input of your parents, we’ll craft a plan to deal with the bully’s aggressive behavior and seek ways to solve the problem (by the way, a tactic that almost never works is telling the bully’s parents).

Remember that school leaders have a duty to keep you and every other student in your school safe.  If a bully is picking on you, chances are they’re doing the same exact thing to somebody else.  So by stepping up and alerting somebody, you’re not only saving your own skin, you might be saving somebody else’s, too.       Don’t fret if action doesn’t happen right away.  Be persistent in asking for help.  Keep asking for help until you get the action you need.  Be the squeaky wheel that gets the grease!  Also: get over the idea that reporting an incident is “tattling”.  It’s not.  Any bullying incident needs to be taken seriously.

Move On With Your Life

Once your bullying situation is over (and it will be over at some point), it’s natural to feel angry and resentful.  Don’t dwell on the situation or replay incidents in your mind 1,000 times.  Anger only rips you apart and hands the bully the ultimate victory.  Instead, find it in yourself to forgive the bully.  This isn’t for them…it’s for you!  Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move beyond this chapter in your life.  You’re going to feel a lot better that way.

Let’s Wrap This Up

Whatever happens, remember this: You have no right to be bullied.  You don’t deserve it.  You ARE valuable…and it’s NOT your fault.  Like I said earlier, when you’re being harassed, it’s natural to feel bad about yourself.  But don’t let some creep get your self-esteem down.  What matters most is your opinion of yourself.  Remind yourself of all the positive qualities you have.

Unfortunately, bullying is something most of us have to deal with sooner or later.  It’s common.  So please remember the advice you learned in this article and see me if you’re having a problem with a bully!

– Senior Master Babin

More Resources:

• www.cyberbullying.us
• Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use
• Education.com (keyword “bullying”)
• Greatschools.net
• www.kidznpower.net